


A Moment in the Sublime

by meanderingmirth



Series: The Most Beautiful and Incandescently Sublime [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 00:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanderingmirth/pseuds/meanderingmirth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaehwan is very good at making beautiful people look even more stunning in his photographs. Sometimes, his friends wish he could see the same things he loves about them in himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Moment in the Sublime

**Author's Note:**

> please note that this fic features elements of polyamory and a three-way relationship. Also, I know jack shit about photography; please don’t be mad about my vague and indefinite terms ;u; If I were a more responsible writer I’d look things up, but, well…
> 
> enjoy!

**November 2012, _The Territorial,_ Issue No. 236**

_“ ‘What’s the most interesting thing about photography’? Well, that’s quite the loaded question you’ve given me here, isn’t it? [laugh] I wish I could give you a definite answer. I wish I knew the definite answer! But I don’t know it. I don’t think I understand how to arrive to a conclusion quite yet. But I can tell you that photography is fun. And sometimes, the most inspiring pictures come out of the most un-inspiring moments possible. Yet through the camera lenses and your vision, you can make it something worthwhile. I think that’s the reason why I love it so much.”_

- _Lee Jaehwan, Fashion Photographer_

+

**June 12th, 2015. Blue Blossom Hotel, Penthouse Suite**

Long, dark lashes, fluttering against pale cheeks. Lithe fingers, curled around the front of the crisp white shirt, pulling the collar open teasingly. An angular jaw thrown into sharp focus by the very particular lighting, and lips, painted red by expert hands, parted just enough to look suggestive but not vulgar. An art form, all by itself, lounging against the cool mixture of greys and blacks of the granite counter, gaze boring down into his lenses with cool confidence and grace.

Jaehwan frowned, flaring his nostrils, and adjusted the camera a little.

“Tilt your head down more, Hongbin,” he called. “Just a bit though, towards your right.”

Hongbin blinked, and then lowered his chin a little, just the slightest shift in his position, and immediately Jaehwan could see the difference in the linear form of his body and Hongbin’s expression. Sucking in a breath, he said quickly, “Good! Hold it!”

Finger, with bitten fingernails, poised on top of a cool button. A few furtive blinks by a professional eye, sweeping over the image seen in his viewfinder. A stuttering heartbeat, threatening to throw off the perfect shot as Jaehwan felt his traitorous emotions wail over the sheer amount of beauty before him.

He pressed the shutter release, and takes the picture.

“Alright,” Jaehwan hummed, straightening with satisfaction. His spine cracked a few times in protest, but the pain and haunched position had been worth it. “I think we’re good for the day, everyone! Excellent work!” he yelled around the suite, and there was a smattering of applause that quickly gave way to hurried shuffling. The previously still room came to life as lighting and make up began to clear up, shuffling props and equipment around as they worked. He glanced down at his watch, a tattered little thing Wonshik had brought for him nearly eight Christmases ago after his trip to Disney World. Mickey Mouse’s arms twisted around to show him the time— 4:12pm. They’d booked the suite for the whole day, but Jaehwan already had his pictures. Everybody could just head home after this.

He felt rather than heard Hongbin come up beside him, and he certainly smelled the model’s presence too. The shoot today was for a new fragrance Hongbin was contracted to model for, and once Jaehwan cleared up his photos and sent them off to the fashion company they’ll have someone edit in a tiny bottle of cologne into the corner of the page along with some cheesy line like  _fragrance for men_  or  _stunning masculinity_  or whatever. Either way, with the right font and Hongbin’s face, it was bound to look appealing when the paper samples came with the morning papers.

“How does it look?” Hongbin asked, grinning as he began undoing the buttons on his shirt to change. Jaehwan fought not to choke a little as he turned back to his camera, fingers pressing over familiar, well-worn buttons to access the photos. “Got the picture you like?”

“You know I never wrap a shoot until I’ve found what I wanted, Binnie,” Jaehwan scolded teasingly. Hongbin snorted and gave him a friendly punch in the arm.

“I was there for the nine-hour shoot at the beach with you during the winter, Jaehwan. I know what you’re like when you’re not satisfied with your work.”

“Good,” Jaehwan sniffed. “I like to instill fear in the hearts of pretty models so they know who’s boss when it comes to photoshoots. Here, check yourself out, pretty boy.”

Hongbin beamed at him and took the camera from Jaehwan with careful hands. It was an honour that was not bestowed upon just anybody; Jaehwan only let a handful of models and even other professionals hold his camera when they wanted to take a look at their photos. Most of the time he just tilted his camera to them and shifted through the photos at varying speeds, and always moved his precious baby away whenever oily fingers got way too close to the display.

But Hongbin handled his camera in a reverent, respectful manner, as though he was holding a delicate ornament instead of a bulky black hunk of plastic and glass lenses. Jaehwan trusted him. They’ve been working together for so many years now, and they’d been friends for even more.

Also, Hongbin’s hands were notoriously small. It always made Jaehwan smile to see how tightly the model clutched at the camera, careful not to drop it.

“I look good,” Hongbin said, grinning as he flicked through the pictures. “You always manage to capture my good side.”

“Eh, I dunno,” Jaehwan smirked as he collapsed his tripod with practiced ease. “I do have a few candid shots of you from that New Year’s party, and that picture of when you fell asleep after pizza night, so—”

“You bastard, you said you deleted those,” Hongbin said in horror, and Jaehwan let out a high-pitched laugh.

“Oh Binnie, you naive fool,” he teased, patting Hongbin on the cheek. “I’ve gotta have some of my bases covered too, don’t you know? Especially when I’m up against a fucking model, hello.”

“I am going to smash your phone,” Hongbin deadpanned, passing the camera back to Jaehwan. “Right when you least expect it, Lee, I will destroy your cell phone without an ounce of mercy.”

“Whoa, I  _just_  got the thing replaced!”

“I’ll buy you another new one,” Hongbin grinned, and suddenly it became one of those moments where Jaehwan suddenly realized Hongbin could be unsuspectingly handsome. Not in the model way or in his boy-next-door handsome way, but in a purely Hongbin kind of fashion. It was the kind of handsome that encompassed a childish streak, mischievousness and an attractive self-assuredness all in one go, and Jaehwan swore his knees buckled a little at the sight of it.

He had it so,  _so_  bad.

“Materialistic bribes will not work on me,” Jaehwan grumbled, turning his nose up to hide the faint red tinting his cheeks. Hongbin laughed as he stripped off the shirt, passed it to one of the stylists, and dug a long-sleeved tee out of his brand name duffle bag. It was a deep, forest green, and it looked excellent stretched across his broad shoulders.

“Well, it’s certainly good to work with you again,” Hongbin said, shooting Jaehwan a fond smile. “I missed the way you ran the set with with both an iron fist and confused gestures whenever you couldn’t pinpoint what was off.”

“I wasn’t the one who fucked off to New Zealand for two months,” Jaehwan joked. “How was it, by the way? Doing all those nature shoots.”

“It was great! Fun, and kinda eye-opening, actually,” Hongbin smiled, dimpling sweetly. “The scenery was absolutely stunning, all rolling hills and lowlands. Quite refreshing at night too, even if the mosquitos were murder.”

“You sound so smitten by it,” Jaehwan said, faking a scared look. “Are you gonna leave the city and become a shepherd boy now?”

“Ha ha,” Hongbin snorted. “Not a chance. I like the bustle of city life, really. You don’t have to spend an hour driving to the closest town for cereal for one. That’s a bonus.”

“Fair point,” Jaehwan nodded, pretending to think it over. “Well, since you’re back and we finished the shoot early, you free to grab a few drinks tonight? On me, since I finally got paid for my last job.”

“Ah,” Hongbin said, expression twisting regretfully, and Jaehwan’s hopes dropped immediately. “I can’t, I’m busy in the evening... I already made dinner plans.”

“Guess it’s chicken wings and Nextflix for me tonight then,” Jaehwan sighed, cradling his camera to his chest. “Don’t worry baby, we’ll spend a grand old time together without that mean bean.”

“Oi, I never said I wasn’t free later on this week.”

“Too late!” Jaehwan yelled, spinning around to tuck his camera away into his back. “Free drinks was only for tonight, if you wanna make plans you’ll have to contact my secretary!”

“You have a secretary? Since when? And who?”

“Since  _always_ , and it’s myself,” Jaehwan puffed, planting his hands on his hips. Hongbin rolled his eyes with a snicker.

“Ah, yes, and tell me, is your studio still your basement?”

“Hey, leave my rookie, broke-ass days out of this, or else I’m gonna dig up your high school graduation photos and tweet them.”

“Don’t you dare,” Hongbin growled, eyes narrowing, and Jaehwan felt a shiver run up his spine.

“Don’t push me then,” he said sweetly, slinging his bags over his shoulder, and Hongbin was about to reply when a buzzing noise sounded, effectively distracting him as he reached into his pocket for his phone.

“Oh, whoops, time for me to go,” Hongbin said, glancing down at his screen before looking up apologetically. “Taekwoon is here. I’ll text you later about dinner, okay?”

“Sure thing,” Jaehwan said, and then his dumb heart tripped over itself at the sound of Taekwoon’s name as well. He squashed the feelings down quickly. “You know me, I’m up at all hours of the night, trying to edit.”

“Do try and maintain a proper sleep schedule, won’t you?” Hongbin sighed, grabbing his things. He reached out to give Jaehwan a tight hug, flat palms giving him a quick rub on the back. “Then you might wake up before noon on a weekday.”

“Don’t say such scandalous things!” Jaehwan cried, dramatically clutching at his chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hongbin yelled back, already halfway towards the door. “See you later, Jaehwan!”

“Bye,” Jaehwan replied, lifting his hand in a half-wave. He watched as Hongbin ducked around a few women, bowing a little in their direction and thanking them for their hard work, and he watched as the ladies tittered amongst themselves as Hongbin pushed open the door and left the suite, leaving nothing but the faint warmth by Jaehwan’s arm and the lingering scent of something herbal and masculine.

Yeah, he definitely had it bad.

+

**January 26th, 2013.**

_[Image] Lee Hongbin at the 2012 Year Opener Dream Fashion Show, wearing Steel Heart designs._

+

**June 15th, 2015. Chopped Lenses Studio.**

For some reason, Kim Wonshik was loitering inside his studio flat at the wee hours of six in the morning, stinking of too many mixed drinks and sweat, and Jaehwan honestly didn’t want to question it.

He did, however, want to know why his friend woke him up when he’d only just put his head down on his cushions half an hour ago.

“I gave you a key for a reason, Wonshik,” Jaehwan grunted, stumbling into his kitchen as he tried to yank his sleep pants back up over his boxers and drag a slowly sobering Wonshik into the kitchen at the same time. “It was so that when you’re too drunk to make it back to your own apartment, you can crash on my couch. Notice how nowhere in that phrase did I mention  _waking Jaehwan up for unnecessary things_.”

“Sorry,” Wonshik said, looking abashed. “I couldn’t find your coffee mix.”

“I have minimalistic furbishments,” Jaehwan moaned, pushing his friend onto a stool at the island counter. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but he really couldn’t care less at this hour. “You can’t  _lose_  shit in minimalistic designs.”

“Yeah, but you never leave things where they belong,” Wonshik whined, holding his head between his hands. His hair was an interesting shade of blue this week, somewhere between a cross of aquamarine and light teal. Very artsy.

“I’d finally crashed after finishing a batch of new shoots. I was actually looking forwards to sleep.”

“I’ll buy you breakfast,” Wonshik sighed. “Just please don’t let me get a hangover tomorrow morning; I have to go into the studio and get Hyukkie to actually record his last song instead of composing twenty new ones.”

“Well, you’re shit outta luck then, because it’s already six-thirty in the morning,” Jaehwan snorted, and Wonshik spluttered in shock, checking his watch before cursing loudly and excusing himself to send a text.

Laughing, Jaehwan turned and yanked the top cupboard open, pulled out Wonshik’s Stitch mug, and set it down on the counter next to his Donald Duck one. He nudged the bottom cabinet open with his toe and bent to retrieve the can of ground coffee beans. Two scoops, two mugs of water into the back, and two quick jabs on the buttons on the machine and the kitchen was filled with the fresh scent of brewing coffee. Satisfied, he turned on his heel and watched his friend text furiously on his phone, eyebrows furrowed as he typed. Nothing like work to sober all of them up.

“How’s the album coming along anyway? I haven’t had a chance to ask once I finished shooting the album jacket.”

“I’ve been too busy to contact you too,” Wonshik admitted, setting his mobile down. “The proofs and images were amazing, by the way. I never did get to thank you for helping us out on such short notice. Your pictures are fantastic.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jaehwan grunted, waving it off. “I’m still waiting for a really good steak dinner from you at the end of the day, so I’m not worried.”

“Hah,” Wonshik laughed, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Well, once we drop the album we can celebrate together with Sanghyuk. We can hit up the bar later on in the night; I know a few producer friends and artists who wanted to get a drink with me sometime. It’ll be good for Sanghyuk to make even more connections.”

“So long as you don’t lose him to another company,” Jaehwan joked. Wonshik grunted, slouching over the counter and dropping his chin into his crossed arms.

“He can’t escape me if he does. Everybody knows everybody in the industry. It’s practically incestuous.”

“Wow, that’s disgusting.”

“Actually, speaking of knowing everybody, I ran into Hongbin that new Italian restaurant the other day, but I didn’t recognize that fucker because he dyed his hair. And when he came up to say hello and smack my ass, I actually said ‘who are you?’ before I, well, realized who he was a second later.”

“Oh, that is  _rich_ , coming from you!” Jaehwan chortled, watching the coffee drip into the pot. He felt his heart jump unnaturally at the mere mention of Hongbin. “He just went from a dark brown to a lighter shade of brown, you moron. Try to start noticing famous people other than your own artists, or it’s gonna be embarrassing hanging around you at award shows.”

“Shut up,” Wonshik grumbled, sticking out his lower lip. “Only Sanghyuk has to show up, and when he wins he’ll just have to mention me in his speech and that’ll be it. I can watch from the comforts of my own home.”

“Some days I honestly wonder how you ever get a job in the entertainment industry.”

“Same way you did,” Wonshik snickered as the coffee maker beeped, letting the last of their morning brew drop. Jaehwan poured them their drinks and handed Wonshik his mug before taking a sip out of his own, resigning himself to another couple sleepless hours. “I just stand behind the scenes and do my best to make the person in front of me as beautiful as possible.”

Jaehwan squinted at him over the rim of his mug, scrutinizing. “That was really deep of you. Are you still drunk?”

Wonshik glared and flipped him off. They drank their coffee in companionable silence, thinking. Jaehwan wasn’t sure what Wonshik had on his mind, but it probably involved ways of bribing Sanghyuk to get his singing voice on and put the creative juices aside for the time being, though Jaehwan knew Wonshik wasn’t complaining. Not only was Sanghyuk’s music fresh and good to listen too, the kid also churned out songs like some kind of possessed machine. As it was, Rated R Records would probably be able to release another full album before the year was out.

Inevitably, his mind drifted back to the photos sitting in his hard drive, touched up with only a few tools in photoshop for the past three days and ready to head off to the cosmetics label. He thought of Hongbin’s gaze, calm and focused, looking at him through the screen with cool intensity, and then thought of crinkled eyes and a wide, brilliant smile.

“Ah, this is some good stuff,” Wonshik sighed, jolting Jaehwan out of his thoughts as he set his mug back down on the counter. “Okay, I’m gonna bounce now, but don’t let me forget about breakfast. Let’s hang out once I get this album nonsense off my back.”

“Alright then,” Jaehwan said, feet padding quietly across the wooden floor as he and Wonshik left through the front door, travelled down the stairwell, and walked into the silent backroom of Jaehwan’s photography studio. One of the perks to owning and living on top of his workplace: he could literally wake up five minutes before work and still open on time.

Wonshik stumbled out of the studio’s entrance, rubbing his eyes blearily as he glanced down the street. The sun had just barely managed to climb over the tops of the buildings, and it streamed down upon them relentlessly, illuminating the steadily increasing morning traffic rush driving down the street. Wonshik gave him a wave, stepped over to the edge of the sidewalk, and hailed a cab. Jaehwan leaned against the front of his studio, still shirtless, and waited until his friend drove off before heading back inside.

He walked back upstairs, patting down his unruly curls with a sigh, and glanced at the digital clock glowing on top of his stove.

It was 7am.

+

**February 2013, _Men’s Collective_ , Issue No. 1023**

_[Cover Image] The Rise of the Vintage Rage, featuring Lee Hongbin._

+

**June 17th, 2015. Leo Cosmopolitan.**

Because the reality of being a starving artist is all too real sometimes, when an email dropped into his inbox from a familiar contact at one of the fashion industry’s top hitters, Jaehwan snuck out of the photography studio for a moment during a shoot to send a quick reply agreeing to meet up for a preliminary chat about him shooting a August cover and series for Leo Cosmopolitan again.

Jaehwan didn’t particularly like working with larger fashion companies, but big names also meant a big paycheque, and if that meant having to suffer through three weeks of agonizing patronizing industry seniors, snobbier models and suffering editing hours, well. Sucking it up wasn’t something Jaehwan was unfamiliar with in his line of work, and besides, as far as fashion companies go, this place was pretty good in terms of polite staff and creative leeway.

But letting his guard down was usually when everything goes to shit.

Jaehwan was strolling down the halls of the management department, visitor’s badge flapping around the borrowed lanyard around his neck and brain so far up in the clouds as he thought about possible themes they might ask him to shoot that he completely neglected to watch his surroundings.

First it was a broad chest and even broader shoulders colliding into him, and then it was the sting of hot coffee spilling down his front that had Jaehwan shrieking, jumping back as he tried to shake the scalding drink off himself.

“Fuck!” he cussed, biting his lip as he looked up.

“Oh,  _fuck_ ,” he muttered next, barely managing to stifle a weak yelp when he saw who it was exactly he’d run into.

In an industry that best showed just how wild human nature could become when it came to their obsession with perfection, the fact that Jung Taekwoon held the reigning title of the king of the jungle should speak volumes. Dark, fierce eyes held Jaehwan in place before the silent model’s gaze lowered, slender fingers wound around an empty cup from some upscale coffee shop as he observed a stain on the hem of the cream-coloured cashmere sweater. Jaehwan could tell on sight alone that there was no way he could afford a replacement of that particular article of clothing.

“Oh, shit, Taekwoon, I’m so sorry,” he apologized in a rush, trying to stop his voice from trembling.

Taekwoon looked up again, blinking slowly, and when he spoke his voice was unbearably soft.

“It’s not mine.”

“E-eh?” Jaehwan asked, twitching.

“The sweater,” Taekwoon clarified, sounding out the syllables with a kind of feather-lightness that belied his stern gaze. “It’s the company’s.”

“Oh god, I’m fucked then,” Jaehwan blurted out in despair. “I don’t have the money to pay them back either.”

Taekwoon suddenly ducked his head, and when he resurfaced, something that resembled a smirk lifted the corners of his lips before he was back to his calm expression. “I’ll just tell them to dry clean it,” Taekwoon said, shrugging. “It’s not mine, and it’s not yours, so... not our problem.”

“I... am amazed but not surprised that you arrived at that logic,” Jaehwan said slowly. “But, uh, I’m still sorry about your coffee.”

Taekwoon shrugged again and flicked his bangs back with a shrug. His hair had grown wilder and longer since the last they’d met, and Jaehwan was a little jealous over how well Taekwoon wore the stylishly messy look. If he let his hair grow out he’d look like a sheepdog that needed a severe trim.

“It’s the company’s card that I’m using...” Taekwoon said, flashing a credit card at Jaehwan, who found that he also wasn’t completely surprised to find Taekwoon misusing company funds for coffee runs either.

“You are gonna get into so much shit someday,” Jaehwan burst out laughing, shaking his head. “Well, I won’t keep you then. I’ve got an appointment to go to, but if you have any problems, you have my number—”

“You’re coming in to talk about the August fashion shoot, aren’t you?” Taekwoon asked, but the way he said it sounded more like a statement than a question. Jaehwan startled, and nodded nervously. Taekwoon hummed and glanced around before locating a trash bin down the hall. Crumpling the now-empty coffee cup up, he launched the piece of garbage through the air and watched as it dropped into the can with a light thunk, long arms wavering in the air for a moment before he dropped them by his sides again. Jaehwan swallowed hard and couldn’t help but think,  _damn it, that was cool_.

“I’ll walk you there,” Taekwoon said, turning back to Jaehwan, whose jolted out of his star-struck stare only to literally feel his heart simultaneously sinking and beating faster at those very words. “I was on my way to attend that meeting too.”

“Let me guess,” Jaehwan said, offering up a smile as they began to walk. “You wouldn’t happen to be the model for the August shoot, would you?”

Taekwoon slanted him a look, one that Jaehwan couldn’t quite read. “And if I was, would that be a problem for you?” he asked quietly, and Jaehwan gulped, throat suddenly very dry.

“Of course not,” he replied, trying and failing to inject some cheer into his voice. “Don’t you think that I’ll be spooked by a big-shot model like you, Jung.”

The corners of Taekwoon’s mouth lifted again, and then his longer legs were carrying him faster up the stairs in an elegant glide. Meanwhile, Jaehwan nearly tripped over the first step and then had to jog the rest of the way trying to keep up with Taekwoon’s naturally long stride.

God damn it.

+

**April 13th, 2013, _The Quintessence_  [Interview, online publication]**

_-By Song Jihoon, writer_

_If there was but one burning question I wanted to confirm with Leo Cosmopolitan’s renowned fashion king Jung Taekwoon, it’s if he truly does have a secret tattoo of a roaring lion inked on the top of his upper right forearm._

_Jung, 29, is infamous for never modelling anything without sleeves. He didn’t even bat an eye when I popped the question on him at the beginning of our interview at the cozy French café located at the outskirts of town._

_“Why do people always ask me that,” he asked, more resigned than annoyed as he flipped through the menu set before him. Even though it was only a simple lunch get-together, Jung’s decked out in his impeccable trademark chic attire: a sky blue button up with a light beige sweater vest overtop, jet black trousers and Youth Style’s latest bronze oxfords in a men’s size 8. Of course, the whole ensemble wouldn’t be complete without a charcoal grey coat of Leo Cosmopolitan’s own line, Cold Nights, one that’s custom-made for Jung’s broad, athletic built. I asked him if he felt warm under the coat, but Jung didn’t look fazed by the warming spring temperatures at all._

_“I modelled several of these coats in varying colours at an outdoor shoot during the start of this month,” he revealed. “I’ve actually grown quite fond of it.”_

_This is where the conversation began to pick up. Since the beginning of his career and his image as a cool, stoic, no-nonsense character, Jung has been notorious for being a difficult man to interview. But he was nothing short of pleasant as we chatted about Leo Cosmopolitan’s upcoming outdoor styles launch, The Spring of Rebirth, which is already the talk of the town. The fact that Lee Jaehwan, fashion photographer by trade and owner of Chopped Lenses Studio, is the one who did the shoot— well. That only added to the juiciness of the whole report._

_But to my surprise, Jung didn’t seem to share my sentiments._

_“Jaehwan is... ah,” Jung murmured, setting down his fork and knife as he chewed slowly. “He’s a great photographer.”_

_I was appalled. Lee was many things, but just ‘great’ wouldn’t be the word I’d use to praise his unique style and phenomenal photography skills. I pressed about this, unable to let it go. And this time, Jung took much longer to reply._

_“Jaehwan is an amazing photographer,” Jung finally said. “I’m not well versed in the art, but I’m sure it’ll be difficult to find someone else who pays as much detail to his craft as Jaehwan does. But to answer your question, I’m going to say it’s because working with Jaehwan was just... a very difficult thing for me to do.”_

+

**June 20th, 2015. Rated R Records.**

“You know, if you didn’t want to work with Taekwoon this badly you could’ve just turned them down,” Sanghyuk said through a mouthful of Vietnamese noodles, raising an eyebrow as he watched Jaehwan moan and grind his forehead onto the table top. “Why are you putting yourself through so much pain?”

“Oi, I never said I didn’t want to?” Jaehwan complained, his chin resting on the table. “Taek’s a real champ when it comes to modelling. You can’t ask for a better subject when it comes to top industry models. The others are all so mean to me. Also, I need the big fat direct deposit that’ll come once I’m done the job.”

“Well, money does make the world go ‘round,” Sanghyuk said, tone far too wise for a twenty-something year old. Jaehwan lifted his head and frowned at the singer.

“Aren’t you supposed to be recording instead of eating Vietnamese takeout with me?”

“Yes, but I’ve been inside that room since eight this morning,” Sanghyuk said, gesturing with his chopsticks. “If I stay in there any longer I might actually lose my mind.”

“Huh, fair enough,” Jaehwan muttered, looking down at his own lunch. A beef ball bobbed up in the soup. “Your first full album’s dropping in two days now. How do you feel?”

“A lot calmer than Wonshik is, that’s for sure,” Sanghyuk chortled. “I caught him trying to rearrange things in my practice room, something about good feng shui.”

“Of course he did. What did you say?”

“Threw him out and told him I already had the refrain for my last song recorded and over with. It was enough to distract him for a couple of hours, at least.”

“Figures,” Jaehwan laughed. “You’re his golden goose. Once your album makes it big he’ll launch you to even higher places. That’s one of the things Wonshik’s good at, even if he likes wearing aviator glasses indoors.”

“What, got a problem with my sunglasses?” Wonshik’s voice sounded from the doorway, and Jaehwan snorted.

“Yeah, I do,” Sanghyuk said, turning in his chair to face the producer as he walked into the room, an envelope in his hands and a peeved expression on his face. “We all know you only wear it when you’re hungover and trying to hide your bloodshot eyes, but c’mon. You only make yourself look douchey.”

“I hate you,” Wonshi growled, whapping Sanghyuk upside the head. “How the hell are you so calm?”

“It’s because I got a spell from an old lady at a street corner transferring all my stress to you,” Sanghyuk said very seriously. “Therefore, I am completely zen while you are completely bent.”

“Please stop trying to rhyme,” Wonshik sighed. “I told you it didn’t work in your lyrics last time, and it’s sure not working now.”

“Che,” Sanghyuk sniffed, stirring his soup. “Anyway, what is it? You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for something.”

“Can’t I just hang out with my friends?” Wonshik complained, but he reached into the envelope and pulled out a rectangular package. “Here, just wanted to show Jaehwan what your shitty album looks like and how we added the photos he took into it.”

“Doubt you’ll call it shitty once it hits Top Ten,” Sanghyuk smirked. Wonshik said something very loudly in reply, but Jaehwan had already tuned them out as he took the album from Wonshik’s hands. It was a sharp, eye-catching red with a series of elegant geometrical shapes in the background. Standing on the cover was Sanghyuk, eyes made up with heavy colours and hair styled up, showing off the leanness of his face and figure. Humming his approval, Jaehwan pulled out the photobook and flipped through it, taking in the various images he’d shot with Wonshik and Sanghyuk several months ago at an warehouse location. The hard edges, dark shadows and industrial setting suited the darker theme of the album more than the original ballroom location the design team had originally thought of doing. He didn’t want to toot his own horn, but Jaehwan was pretty damn proud of how well the photos turned out. He flipped through several more pages of Sanghyuk posing by a dusty window, lying across workbenches, and even one where he sat at a baby grand piano they’d had delivered to the location specifically. It was a far cry from the first few styles he’d photographed Sanghyuk in, but it was bold and handsome. Perfect for a summer release.

“Looks good, eh?” Wonshik asked, watching him.

“Yeah,” Jaehwan grinned, slotting the ensemble back together. “Is this my free copy?”

“Yup,” Wonshik said. “But if I go online tonight and find that there’s  _somehow_  been a leak, I’m gonna walk over to Chopped Lenses and smudge every single one of your filters with my oily fingers.”

“Oh my god, you barbaric heathen,” Jaehwan screeched, leaping to his feet. “Stay away from my equipment!”

“Just taking pre-emptive measures,” Wonshik laughed. “Anyway, I’ve got a launch party planned two days from now. It’s still in the works, but you’ll be there, right?”

Jaehwan raised an eyebrow. “Why do I have to show up?”

“Uh, because you helped put the album together?” Wonshik said, raising an eyebrow back.

“I just took a few photos, Wonshik. That’s not really helping.”

“ ‘Not really helping’? You’re not serious when you say that, are you?” Sanghyuk asked, glancing up from his noodles with a frown. “Have you actually taken a proper look at the photos?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know? If you all want me to come that much, I’ll clear out my evening,” Jaehwan frowned, scratching his neck.

“Sure, go do that,” Wonshik said, and Jaehwan nodded, slurping down the last of his noodles.

“Text me the time and location,” he said, checking his phone. “I’ve got a booking in about an hour, so I’d better head back to my studio. I’ll chat with you guys later?”

“Alright,” Wonshik hummed, sweeping Jaehwan into a quick hug before letting the photographer leave, waving goodbye with the album tucked away inside his backpack. The door to the break room shut behind him, and Sanghyuk coughed.

“He’s doing that sad thing again, Wonshik.”

“I know,” Wonshik grumbled, turning to take a seat in Jaehwan’s vacated seat. “God, I don’t know how else to make to more obvious to him. I thought showing him how good the completed album looks would help...”

“You know, he might be a little down because of his new job,” Sanghyuk said nonchalantly, and Wonshik tilted his head in confusion.

“New job?”

“Yup. He’s shooting for Leo Cosmopolitan’s August issue.”

“Oh. That’s a good thing though? They pay well.”

“Okay, yeah, but money aside,” Sanghyuk said impatiently, waving his chopsticks again. “You do know who that company’s best model is, right?”

“Best model— ahh,” Wonshik said, understanding dawning on his face. “He’s working with Taekwoon again.”

“Bingo,” Sanghyuk singsonged. “That’s why he’s being all mopey.”

“Does Hongbin know?”

“Dunno. Taekwoon might’ve told him.”

“Jeez,” Wonshik sighed, running a hand through his hair. “How many years has it been since that damn interview? We all know journalists edit and twist things out of proportions, even unintentionally.”

“I dunno if that’s what Jaehwan’s still got stuck in the back of his mind,” Sanghyuk said slowly, poking at his food. “But maybe he still has a bit of fear that Taekwoon won’t like his photography.”

“Okay, but we’ve all established together, as a group, that Taekwoon only said that because he thought the  _concept_  wasn’t to his taste. Not Jaehwan’s photography. Which he later complimented, I might add. In front of Jaehwan.”

“Well, you know, the fact that Taekwoon and Hongbin are dating each other and Jaehwan happening to have this big fat massive crush on the both of them isn’t doing his mentality any favours either,” Sanghyuk said pointedly. “So I’m starting to think it might not be entirely based on his fear that Taekwoon doesn’t like working with him.”

Wonshik made a noise of intense frustration and slid further down in his seat so he could drop his forehead against the table top.

“Those three idiots are just running around in circles and their shennanigains is  _not_  the drama I need to deal with right before the release date,” he groaned, and Sanghyuk laughed.

"I’m starting to think that not even feng shui will soothe your poor nerves at this point.”

“...Shut up, Sanghyuk.”

+

**August 2nd, 2013, ROCK.U.B 75.5 FM’S “OUTSIDERS” [Radio Programme]**

_DJ: Good evening listeners, and welcome to tonight’s segment OUTSIDERS, on ROCK.U.B 75.5 FM. Tonight we’ve got a very special, and very young, guest on our programme. You might’ve already heard his surprisingly mature voice gracing our airwaves earlier this evening with the catchy, chart-sweeping single “Don’t Leave Me Behind”. That’s right, listeners, let’s welcome the rising star in the music industry, Han Sanghyuk!_

_Sanghyuk: Hello, hello, thank you for inviting me to the show._

_DJ: It’s our pleasure to have you Hyuk— may I call you Hyuk?_

_S: Sure, go ahead, only my mom and producer calls me that when I’m in trouble._

_DJ: [laughs] Are you saying your producer is like your mom?_

_S: He’s not gonna like hearing his, but yes. He loves to nag, but it’s also because of him that I managed to finish writing this song and put it all together._

_DJ: Indeed, the producer and the crew plays a very important role alongside the artist. But your producer is no ordinary guy, is he? You are, in fact, under THE Kim Wonshik, owner of Rated R Records, am I correct?_

_S: That’s right. Wonshik is my producer._

_DJ: For those of you out there who don’t know, and to be honest you’ll be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t heard the name Kim Wonshik even in passing before, but this is the same man who brought to us the record-breaking title tracks “Forehead Kiss”, “Forever Young”, and “Tin Hat”. This is a man who knows what he’s doing in the business, so what is it about you, Hyuk, that you think caught Wonshik’s attention?_

_S: Wonshik always says that he saw the potential in me, but that he doesn’t care about that. Tons of artists have potential. What he wanted to see was someone who could learn to reach that potential, even when things were tough. I wanted to show him that I had the guts, so I tried to tough out everything he set me on to. It was difficult, but definitely worth it._

_DJ: Kim Wonshik definitely has a different way of running things in the music industry, which is undoubtably why the label is so successful. What do you think is the most interesting thing you didn’t know about him from before?_

_S: I’ll have to say it’s the amount of contacts he has, and not just in the music industry. For example, all of the promotional photos and posters they took of me was done by Lee Jaehwan, the fashion photographer._

_DJ: Wait, you’re not pulling my leg, are you? Lee Jaehwan did your photoshoots?!_

_S: [laugh] Yeah, I was seriously shocked. I mean, I’ve only seen his stuff on the covers of my sister’s magazines or on billboards on skyscrapers, and all the people in his works are famous models. I never would’ve thought he’d photograph a rookie artist like me, but it turns out he and Wonshik are really good friends. Wonshik called him up, and Jaehwan agreed to do the shoot._

_DJ: That’s incredible. How did it feel to have your photos taken by a professional fashion photographer?_

_S: Difficult! It was really difficult, but only because I’ve never experienced something like that. But Jaehwan was really nice, and he walked me through everything. He’s really good at defusing the tension. I didn’t feel like I was attending a photoshoot; I felt like I was taking a bunch of photos with a friend. That’s probably the craziest thing that’s happened to me so far, but I’m grateful to him for making everything so much fun._

+

**June 28th, 2015. Superhero’s Bar & Lounge.**

“You know, Wonshik told me this was supposed to be a launch party to celebrate my album,” Sanghyuk said dryly, a bottle of beer dangling from one hand and a spicy meat kebob in the other. “I wasn’t aware that meant inviting every single celebrity, even the ones unrelated to music, within a ten-mile radius to attend.”

“Listen, you gotta understand that Wonshik has more friends and contacts than there are people in this city,” Jaehwan grunted, feeling a trickle of sweat slide down the back of his neck as he nursed some terrifyingly fruity cocktail whose name he couldn’t pronounce. The low thrum of the music pounding in his ears was starting to rattle him a little, and the massive crowd packed into the first and second floors of the establishment wasn’t helping at all. “Take this as an opportunity to expand your own list of phone numbers.”

“Hmm,” Sanghyuk hummed, taking another huge bite of meat. “I’ll just make Wonshik talk to everybody for me. I already sang at three different shows and a radio programme today, I’m beat.”

“You’re really lucky Wonshik likes socializing so much,” Jaehwan snorted. “I don’t know how you’re going to survive as a pop star if you’re so reluctant on chatting and making small talk.”

“That’s just something I’ve never been able to do,” Sanghyuk quipped. Suddenly, there was a rather large commotion from the crowd near the doors. Jaehwan tried to peer around some girl band standing in front of him while Sanghyuk, being an unfair few inches taller, stood up on his toes to look around. To Jaehwan’s amusement, Sanghyuk’s face instantly adopted a look of utmost horror that could only be associated with the appearance of one man.

“Oh my god, move, it’s him, he’s here,” Sanghyuk spluttered, stepping on Jaehwan’s foot as he tried to run past him, but it was already too late.

A hand shot out of the crowd, reminiscent of a zombie movie, and grabbed Sanghyuk by the shoulder before dragging him back.

“Where the hell d’you think you’re going?” a sweet voice asked, and Sanghyuk gargled, turning around to glare at the newcomer. Jaehwan fought not to laugh.

“Hey, Hakyeon,” he said, grinning. “Glad you could make it.”

Hakyeon grinned back, arm tangling around Sanghyuk with the strength of a python squeezing its prey. “Sup, Jaehwan. Heard you landed the Leo Cosmopolitan shoot for the August issue, congrats.”

“How the hell did you even find out about that, I’ve barely been employed for two weeks.”

“Wonshik,” Hakyeon replied with a shrug, like it was the answer to everything. It probably was. “Anyway, he shot me a text yesterday evening, saying Hyukkie’s launch party was happening here tonight. I wasn’t even in the country! I was in a different time zone!”

“How’d you make it then?” Sanghyuk grumbled, apparently resigned to Hakyeon’s bone-crushing hug. He chewed crabbily at the kebob, and Jaehwan tried really hard not to laugh at how irritable Sanghyuk looked.

“Oh, I was only across the border,” Hakyeon dismissed. “Booked a flight on my mobile and was on my way right after we wrapped up the day’s shoot. I gotta be back on set by 5am tomorrow though; hopefully I’ll make my flight back on time without being too hungover.”

“What movie are you shooting right now?’ Jaehwan asked, squinting. Amongst all the big names in the room, Hakyeon was probably amongst, if not already, the biggest name of all. His breakout role as a teenage street punk in a heart-wrenching mobster film earned him the image of a fresh, gutsy actor in the world of film, and his climb towards darker, more in-depth roles only worked to strengthen Hakyeon’s reputation as a very thorough, very intense method actor. Every time they met, Jaehwan swore he could spot traces of Hakyeon’s character lingering at his edges. Depending on the role, conversations may or may not get really weird.

“Kim Ryeowook’s rendition of that old cop show from the nineties,  _After Dark_. We’re finishing up the last of an outdoor chase scene right now, and then we’re packing up and filming the rest in a town a couple hours’ drive away from the city,” Hakyeon said, grinning. Jaehwan remembered reading about that in the tabloids. Hakyeon was playing the good cop, they said. Whew.

“Didn’t your character die off when that show was airing?” Sanghyuk muttered, and Hakyeon gave the singer a terrifying shake.

“Hyukkie likes to act cute,” Hakyeon cooed. “C’mon and get another drink with me! I can’t believe you’re only holding a beer, what are you, twelve?”

“I’m  _twenty-six_ ,” Sanghyuk growled. “Also, a twelve year old wouldn’t be allowed  _in_.”

“Twelve, twenty-six, whatever,” Hakyeon dismissed. “Anyway, we have to celebrate! “Youngest Terror” made it to Top Five within the week! And it’s still clinging on! You can’t possibly toast to that with a beer. I was listening to it on the whole plane ride, and I never listen to teenage angst songs for longer than a minute.”

“Songs are usually about three minutes long,” Jaehwan said.

“Exactly,” Hakyeon replied pointedly, ignoring Sanghyuk’s protests of “ _I’m not a bloody teenager!”_  before whisking him off somewhere into the crowd. Snickering into his drink, Jaehwan took a sip, made a face at the unbearable sweetness. He set it back down on the table with a grimace. He could get a plain old beer; nobody could stop him.

Except for, perhaps, the newest arrivals he nearly walked smack into when he turned on his heel towards the bar.

“Yo,” Hongbin greeted, dimples on his cheeks as he raised a hand in greeting. Next to him, Taekwoon stood with an arm wrapped loosely around Hongbin’s waist, dark eyes glittering as he greeted Jaehwan as well. Jaehwan spluttered before he could form a coherent sentence back.

“Hey,” he said, a beat too slowly. “You guys are here too?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Wonshik’s basically invited every living, breathing being under the sun that earns a yearly income of over six digits,” Hongbin said with a snort. “So yeah, Taekwoon and I have been invited.”

“Right,” Jaehwan said, and he doesn’t know why he’s tongue tied, honestly. He worked with models that struck the genetic jackpot at birth day in and day out; being surrounded by insanely hot people wasn’t something new to him. But those two; they were something entirely different. While everybody had dressed themselves up and were busy partying it out, Hongbin and Taekwoon were effortlessly snagging wandering eyes with their unnaturally alluring grace. Even their attire was neat and fashionable; Hongbin wore a black shirt paired with a mesh top and Taekwoon was uncharacteristically colourful tonight, donning a striking yellow polo that Jaehwan knew he’d seen floating around the recent Blossom Tears line.

A sort of hush had fallen over the crowd when Hongbin and Taekwoon walked into, and more than a few dozen heads were turning their way, completely fixated. Jaehwan wasn’t surprised; the two of them tended to have an effect like that.

“You guys came a second too late,” Jaehwan hummed. “Hakyeon arrived a minute before you did and dragged Sanghyuk off to get a proper drink.”

“Oh, Hakyeon’s here?” Hongbin said with a grin, while Taekwoon made an alarmed expression (that only meant a slight raise of eyebrows, but Jaehwan knew the signs).

“Yeah, he was out of the country filming but he still found a way back.”

“That’s Hakyeon for you,” Hongbin chortled. “Anyway, are you drunk yet? Come upstairs with us, it’s mad down here.”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all,” Jaehwan joked, even though his heart nearly stopped at those words. Spend the rest of the night squashed between Taekwoon and Hongbin? Might as well lay him to rest right now.

“Hey, Wonshik’s paying,” Hongbin shrugged. “You might as well make the most of it.”

Jaehwan took a moment to mull over that. “True,” he agreed, and Hongbin laughed as he grabbed Jaehwan’s hand, pulling him towards the stairs.

“You never did end up buying me drinks after the the cologne shoot at the hotel,” Hongbin joked. “You’re gonna have to drink double to pay me back now.”

“Aw, really?” Jaehwan pouted. He was dimply aware of Hongbin’s hand, cooler in temperature than his, tugging him upwards. He was also pretty sure Taekwoon had his palm pressed against the small of Jaehwan’s back, gently guiding. He gulped, unsure of what to think of that.

It was definitely quieter upstairs, but Jaehwan could spot some of the veterans of the entertainment industry sitting around the squashy sofas and armchairs like old-fashioned villains, sipping on whiskey and other old men drinks. A few eyes slid over to them as they walked past, and Jaehwan tried not to trip over the plush rug spread over the wooden flooring.

“Go sit down,” Hongbin murmured, pushing Jaehwan towards Taekwoon as they reached the open bar upstairs. “I’ll get you guys drinks.”

“Mm,” Taekwoon hummed, herding Jaehwan around a pool table and a few chairs until they settled in a comfortable corner booth, illuminated by a lonely light hanging overhead. The red shade thew the area into a bold scarlet colour that Jaehwan couldn’t help admiring despite his nerves. He could get some real good shots here.

“You look good,” Taekwoon said suddenly, breaking the silence. Jaehwan glanced down at his blue button-up and skinny jeans, and then turned to stare at Taekwoon, incredulous.

“T-thanks?”

“What,” Taekwoon asked, tilting his head slightly. “You don’t believe me?”

“I— well, not that,” Jaehwan chuckled, scratching his neck. “It’s just— that’s not something you might hear coming from a supermodel, is it?”

“Models can tell others they look nice. I tell Hongbin he looks nice all the time,” Taekwoon pointed out.

“Yeah,” Jaehwan said, laughing. “Your boyfriend, who is also a model, that he looks nice.”

“And I’m telling that to you too,” Taekwoon continued, his voice dangerously soft, and Jaehwan’s laughter died in his throat as he stared at his friend. What was that supposed to mean?

“Um,” Jaehwan started, but he was saved the difficulty of answering when Hongbin finally returned with a bottle of nice red wine and a little bowl of peanuts.

“Ta-daa,” Hongbin grinned, sliding their drinks across the table. “Jacked the whole bottle, but I don’t think anybody’s gonna care. Or notice.”

“They’ll notice once we finish it,” Taekwoon said, but he was already yanking the stopper out and pouring a generous amount into each glass.

“Can’t say nothing if we leave nothing behind,” Hongbin smirked, popping a peanut into his mouth. He slid into the spot on Jaehwan’s right, leaving him smack in the middle with Taekwoon on his left. Raising an eyebrow, Jaehwan reached for the peanuts and munched on one too.

“Cheers,” Taekwoon hummed, raising his glass and waiting for the other two to follow suit. “To Sanghyuk’s new album.”

“Even though he’s not here right now,” Hongbin chuckled.

“Even though he’s probably being strangled by Hakyeon and trying not to strangle Hakyeon back,” Jaehwan agreed, and they all tipped their glasses back and drank. The wine was smooth on his tongue and had a faint, tingly taste to it. Hongbin always selected some strange but nevertheless enjoyable kinds of wine.

“Good shit,” Jaehwan declared, setting his glass down, and Taekwoon snorted unattractively next to him.

“That’s the spirit,” Hongbin said, bestowing upon him a dazzling smile, and Jaehwan could feel himself melting. Hongbin was always so easy to get along with, so great to work with; Jaehwan might’ve called the model his muse if he were a clichéd and if only the fact were true. But— his best photos were not taken with Hongbin.

That spot of honour belonged to Taekwoon.

+

**December 2013, _Force Visuals’ “The Year End Top Ten”_  [Online publication]**

_-By Nam Minki, fashion photographer, fashion critic, writer_

_Now, 2012 can’t come to a close without me mentioning at least a few of our city’s resident photography big shots. I’ve given a nod to some of the veterans in the industry, but the third place honour of this year’s top ten goes to the man who places the faces all over the skies in our city with his attention-arresting artwork: Lee Jaehwan._

_Lee’s work can be predominantly found in “Starlight Fashion”, “Mind the Gap”, “Rolling Depths”, “Ken’s” and (how could I forget) “Leo Cosmopolitan”. It features a stunning collection of photographs that literally immerses the viewer and subject straight into the shoot, leaving us stranded in a kind of daze for a few minutes within Lee’s captivating works of art. He’s well known for working with memorable faces like Yook Sungjae, Jung Ilhoon, Im Hyunsik, Min Dohee, and of course the city’s treasured beauty, Lee Hongbin. He’s even done head shots for film superstar Cha Hakyeon and musical prodigy Han Sanghyuk, whose debut album jacket was actually photographed by Lee earlier this year. Branching out already, are we? Well, with skills like that, Lee certainly won’t have trouble finding work anywhere._

_Still don’t believe me? Then you should definitely check out “The Spring of Rebirth”, Lee’s April shoot for Leo Cosmopolitan’s gorgeous ice king, supermodel Jung Taekwoon. Now I’ll have to say that that shoot deviates from Lee’s usual style, but there is just something about it that hooks you into the photographs and keeps reeling you in. Perhaps it’s the setting, Jung’s powerful presence, Lee’s vision, or a mixture of all three— but it has undoubtably left us all with one thought: to what kinds of depths does Lee view Jung in for him to present us with such harrowingly beautiful and focused photographs?_

+

**June 29th, 2015. Superhero’s Bar & Lounge.**

The bottle of wine was empty and the shot glasses they left behind in the booth upstairs a few hours ago were probably still sticky with residual liquor when Jaehwan staggered out of the crowded dance floor with Hongbin and Taekwoon, eyesight blurry and head swimming in a pleasant haze. The obnoxious music had faded away into a low hum in the back of his mind now, and Hongbin was trying to sing along with Sanghyuk’s new single, but he kept interrupting himself with giggles. Taekwoon had an arm looped around Hongbin’s elbow and the other slung over Jaehwan’s shoulders, keeping them both close.

“Wass the time?” Hongbin asked, swaying a little on his feet, and Jaehwan reached into his pocket for his phone.

“Three in the morning,” he groaned, patting Taekwoon’s hand absent-mindedly. “Fuck, I have to go home. We all have to go home.”

“Good idea,” Hongbin laughed, leaning heavily against the counter. “Where are the others?”

“ ‘unno,” Jaehwan murmured, pitching forwards unintentionally. His forehead landed smack in the centre of Hongbin’s chest and he stilled, cheeks flushing as his actions shook a bit of sense back to him.

But Hongbin just hummed and wrapped his arms around Jaehwan, pulling him closer as he shouted for Taekwoon to find Wonshik. Taekwoon answered with something Jaehwan couldn’t hear, but he could feel the hand Taekwoon had resting against the back of his neck squeeze lightly before the pressure vanished altogether.

Jaehwan lifted his head and glanced behind him just in time to see the model disappear into the crowd. What was that?

“Fuck, my head is spinning so much,” Hongbin gurgled, slouching against one of the bar stools. His nose bumped against Jaehwan’s forehead, and then Jaehwan could hear Hongbin giggle again as he began nuzzling into Jaehwan’s face.

“Binnie,” he whined, wiggling weakly. “You smell like alcohol.”

“So do you,” Hongbin breathed, and his face was very, very close. Jaehwan could see dark eyelashes fluttering over warm brown eyes and the strands of hair sticking to Hongbin’s sweaty temples. Jaehwan swallowed harshly, suddenly very aware of how close they were, and tried to straighten up.

Hongbin’s arms tightened around him in response, locking Jaehwan in place.

“B-Binnie?”

“Stay,” Hongbin sighed, moving to press his nose against Jaehwan’s cheek. He could feel the soft puffs of breath against his skin, and Jaehwan stuttered helplessly, hands scrambling to clutch at the mesh fabric of Hongbin’s shirt. His skin was so hot under the barely-there material and the light shirt underneath, and it was driving Jaehwan insane.

“You two are so drunk,” a quiet voice said next to Jaehwan’s ear, and he screamed, leaping out of Hongbin’s arms. Hongbin fell onto the bar stool, groaning as he clutched his side.

“T-Taekwoon,” Jaehwan stammered, feeling his heart beat a mile minute. Taekwoon stood next to them, an amused little smile on his face, and he had Sanghyuk curled up by his side, looking both sleepy and nauseous.

“I think it’s time to get this one home,” Taekwoon said, tilting his head towards Sanghyuk.

Jaehwan glanced around. “Where— where’s Wonshik?”

“Talking to some very important individuals on the dance floor,” Taekwoon said matter-of-factly. “Do you think you can take him, Jaehwan?”

“Yeah, ‘course, sure,” Jaehwan murmured, stepping forwards to gather the drowsy, gangly, and limp Sanghyuk into his arms. “Ah, you moron, don’t let Hakyeon goad you into impossible drinking games.”

“I’m  _not_  twelve,” was Sanghyuk’s diligent reply, and Jaehwan sighed, shaking his head fondly.

“C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

The early morning air was as chilly as it was refreshing, and Jaehwan took the moment to bask in the crisp scent of summer without the fumes of car exhaust and the hot sun beating down on his back. There were still people milling about on the streets, but even the hardcore party crowds had died down quite a bit. People were tired, and they were headed to bed.

“Jaehwan,” Taekwoon called, waving him over, and Jaehwan turned to see a bright orange cab pulling up by the curb.

“You guys should go on first—” he protested, but Hongbin grabbed him around the waist and pulled him over with a rather firm hand for a drunk person.

“We’ll be fine, Jaehwanie,” he teased, dimpling beautifully. “Get home safe, okay?”

“Wh—” Jaehwan started to say, but the rest of his sentence evaporated into nothing when Hongbin leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

...What.

Before Jaehwan’s stunned brain could even catch up, Hongbin pushed him towards Taekwoon, who ran his long fingers through Jaehwan’s tangled hair, tugged him close, and whispered a low “ _good night_ ” into his ear before bundling him and Sanghyuk into the backseat of the cab. Jaehwan tumbled into the seat without much fuss, still reeling in shock. His ear burned. His lips tingled. His heart pounded without mercy.

“Take them to Chopped Lenses Studio,” Taekwoon was saying to the cabbie. “406 Kenneth Street.”

“Sure thing pal,” the cabbie said, staring. “Say, have I seen you somewhere before?”

“Not at all,” Taekwoon answered smoothly, and shut the door. Jaehwan slouched against the sunken cushions of the cab, barely remembering to give a quick little wave before they were off, zooming down the empty streets of the night.

They arrived back into his studio faster than he’d expected, and after fumbling with his payment for a moment, Jaehwan found himself dragging a knocked-out Sanghyuk up the stairs to his studio flat, panting heavily under the young man’s dead weight.

“Is Wonshik feeding you bricks for breakfast?” he gasped as they burst into Jaehwan’s darkened bedroom, nearly tripping over a laundry basket sitting in the middle of the room. “Seriously, stop working out so much. You’re turning into a man and that is unacceptable.”

Sanghyuk flopped uselessly when Jaehwan dropped him unceremoniously onto the mattress, groaning as he tried to catch his breath. A moment later, he too collapsed onto the blankets, knees sinking into the springs as Jaehwan fought to process the night’s events through his drunken mind.

“What was that?” Jaehwan whispered to nobody in particular, feeling his poor heart tripping over itself trying to fathom his mixed-up emotions as he stared with unfocused eyes at his anime duvet. “What was— why did they do that?”

Sanghyuk groaned, suddenly turning over. He rubbed his eyes and blinked up at Jaehwan, hair cutely tousled. “You talkin’ ‘bout Bin and Taekwoon?” he slurred, and before Jaehwan could answer Sanghyuk reached out and grasped his wrist with a surprising gentleness. “Thass ‘cause they frickin’ like you, Jaehwannie... ah... they like you lots...”

“Just how much did you drink with Hakyeon?” Jaehwan joked softly, untangling Sanghyuk’s fingers from his arm with care. “I’m never leaving you alone in the bar with him again.”

“ ‘S the truth,” Sanghyuk grumbled, sticking his lower lip out. “Hongbin and Taekwoon... they like you so much... so fuckin’ much...”

His eyes were already sliding shut as Jaehwan tucked the blanket up to his chin and brushed Sanghyuk’s hair from his face, chuckling.

“Yeah, yeah. Go sleep now. You might have the day off tomorrow but you don’t wanna waste the whole day in bed either.”

The answer he received was a tired snore, and Jaehwan smiled before bending over to press a kiss to Sanghyuk’s forehead. Come morning he’ll have to deal with the hangover and a barrage of horrifically confusing emotions, but the pillow was beckoning his tired mind right now, and Jaehwan was powerless to resist.

He’ll burn that bridge once he gets there.

+

**February 2014, _Honey Oh Honey_ — Lee Hongbin and Jung Taekwoon Are Back Again As The Fashion Industry’s Hottest Couple [Online Publication]**

-By sugarsugar_sweet_16, Page Admin

_Oh. My. God. Romance doesn’t get any more real than this— attendees at this year’s revamped Valentine’s Day Midnight Magnifique were treated to the rare appearance of sexy supermodel couple Lee Hongbin and Jung Taekwoon, who showed up under the event’s signature Golden Gates entrance at a quarter past midnight and swept the audience off their feet. Hongbin, who donned a familiar onyx three-piece from Destiny Love’s new suit line, looked absolutely stunning next to Taekwoon, who made a very good choice when he decided to wear a muted cerulean blue waistcoat and trouser set paired off with a vintage garnet bolo tie right off the shelves of Eternity’s high end silver ornaments collection._

_Seeing Hongbin and Taekwoon together at a public event is certainly a rarity; ever since Hongbin confirmed their couple status through an exclusive interview with “VIXX Fashion” in January 2012 (yes, that interview!), the private aspects of their relationship and personal lives have remained as mysterious as ever before. They even work in separate companies; Taekwoon has been the face of Leo Cosmopolitan for as long as anybody can remember and Hongbin has modelled for a handful of top-tier fashion companies instead of sticking with one. Fans were left with only a few tantalizing tidbits of information, which includes the absolutely adorable paparazzi shot of Taekwoon candidly kissing Hongbin at the airport after his return from an oversees fashion week. Awww!_

_But for now, our thirst has been quenched. It was truly refreshing to see two of the most handsome men on earth standing side by side on one of the most romantic nights of the year... sighhhh. No word yet on what their after-party activities might entail, but I’m sure the two got real cozy together after a night of sweet wine and good times. ;)_

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**July 1st, 2015. Leo Cosmopolitan.**

“Alright guys,” Yura sighed heavily, throwing her highlighter onto the meeting room table. It skidded across pages of scrap paper, glossy magazine pages, outlines and designs and contracts before ending up in the empty doughnut box on the other end of the room. “I’m calling a five minute break. Go out and pee, refresh yourself, buy another coffee or whatever— except for you, Jung Taekwoon, I know how much caffeine you’ve already inhaled this morning— and come back ready to work again, alright?”

A collective laugh rose from the table of stylists, designers and managers as Taekwoon visibly pouted (sorry, scowled like a man) and fiddled with his empty coffee cup. Chairs scraped against the ground and groans of pain filled the room as a few people stretched. Jaehwan twirled his pen between his fingers and stared blearily down at his notebook. Scribbles of half-memorized suggestions filled the lines and doodles of flying pigs and Wonshik with devil horns adorned the margins, evidence of his intensive creative brainstorming. He felt like a kid in high school all over again.

“Charming designs,” Taekwoon’s voice suddenly sounded in his ear, and Jaehwan collapsed forwards, letting out a strangled yelp. “Is that Wonshik?”

“You have  _got_  to stop doing that,” he cried, shoving Taekwoon away from him. Taekwoon laughed, the sound light and tranquil as he pulled out a chair to sit on.

“Any ideas for the shoot?” Taekwoon asked, picking up one of the packages on the table. Jaehwan chewed his lip as he watched the images of clothes flicker past as Taekwoon began flipping through the pages. It was an end of summer launch that focused on the diminishment of summer and the arrival of autumn, and it felt like a rather haunting concept; all of the clothes Taekwoon would model were heavy, dark, and earthen. The fabrics were stiff and the image it would present was severe. Personally, Jaehwan didn’t think Taekwoon’s modelling image needed any more serious clothing, but he supposed the company had a reputation to upkeep.

“Most of these ideas are preliminary, but I’m imagining cottages, or campgrounds. Maybe something woodlands-y, or else really old, vintage houses. I know it doesn’t necessarily have to be an outdoors shoot but I’d like to incorporate some variety into the place as well.”

“You think the greens would go well with the ensemble? I’m wearing a lot of dark colours.”

“Well, no,” Jaehwan admitted, tapping his pen against the page. He felt a little odd. It had been two days since the party (and Hongbin’s kiss, and Taekwoon’s shockingly unperturbed reaction), but Jaehwan couldn’t find it in him to bring the topic up. In all honesty, he didn’t  _want_  to bring it up, either. Maybe they could just gloss over this and pretend it never happened. “I actually wasn’t thinking of having greenery around you. This isn’t a— a fresh concept. This is about an ending. It’s summer’s finale.”

“Certainly not  _The Spring of Rebirth_ ,” Taekwoon said softly, and Jaehwan’s tapping motions stilled.

“B-Beg pardon?” he croaked, slowly turning to stare at Taekwoon. The model stared back, his expression professionally stoic, but his eyes were calm, warm.

“It’s almost the exact opposite of the last official shoot we did together,” Taekwoon said, crossing a long leg over the other. “And that was nearly two years ago. I missed working with you.”

“Did you now,” Jaehwan replied, stomach turning over. Why was Taekwoon bringing that photoshoot up?

“Mmm,” Taekwoon nodded. His eyes never left Jaehwan’s. “Do you remember the company’s accessory launch they wanted you to shoot for?”

“Didn’t I turn it down?” Jaehwan asked, tilting his head.

“You were in Japan at the time,” Taekwoon huffed. “I was the one who requested for you to come.”

“You—  _you_  told the company to ask me?”

“Mhm,” Taekwoon hummed again. “I like working with you, Jaehwan. I like the way you run your photoshoots.” He was smiling the little half-smile again, the one that only lifted the corners of his mouth by a fraction. Jaehwan was always rather fascinated by the complete difference in the way Hongbin and Taekwoon smiled; Hongbin liked to show all his teeth and make his eyes crinkle, but Taekwoon smiled with a kind of mysteriousness and reservedness. Maybe opposites do attract, Jaehwan mused to himself, and then shook the thoughts out of his head because it was starting to make his heart hurt.

“Did you... did you request for them to contact me for this shoot too, then...?”

For a moment, Taekwoon did not answer. His eyes met Jaehwan’s and they sat in silence, simply watching each other. Jaehwan found that he could not breathe; all the air in his lungs seemed to have vanished in an instant.

“I—” Taekwoon started to say, but the door to the meeting room opened and one of the managers poked his head in, shouting, “Hey Jung, there’s somebody on line three for you!”

“Ah,” Taekwoon said, a small frown marring his features as he stood up. “Such bad timing...”

“What the hell, Dongwoon, we’re just starting up again,” Yura complained, sifting through some files Jaehwan hadn’t seen before. Suddenly, he remembered their location, and that the board room wasn’t empty during the break. Flushing, he swivelled his chair around and began organizing his pens for lack of a better thing to do.

“It’s not my fault our superstar’s getting love calls from other companies all the time,” the manager shrugged, holding the door open for Taekwoon as he exited. “We’ll be back in a second!”

“Sure they will,” Hyeri snorted, and Jaehwan had to agree. Taekwoon was actually very proficient with phone calls, which is to say he simply hangs up on people he isn’t interested in talking to without batting an eyelash. But now that they’d set him loose, he would undoubtably take his time wandering around the cafeteria looking for something to drink before heading back.

“Well, let’s keep it together people, we’ve managed to carry on without them before,” Yura sighed, as though the most important figure of their shoot hadn’t just fucked off somewhere in the middle of an equally important meeting. “Now, Jaehwan. What would you like to see at the end of this shoot?”

“Good fucking photos, for one,” Jaehwan said, and a ripple of laughter ran throughout the room. “Also, since you’re giving me free reign for the location choice, a privilege I didn’t expect and am humbled to receive, I’d like to present to you all pictures that has both its own allure and upholds the company’s image in regards to Taekwoon.”

“Well said,” Yura nodded, smiling. “I have no qualms about leaving you to your own devices with that. The only thing I’d ask of you is to show up to some of Taekwoon’s fittings to see the outfits on him and the modifications the designers go through.”

“Fair enough,” Jaehwan agreed, grinning. “Drop me a message then, and I’ll clear my schedule.”

“You always say the things I like to hear,” Yura laughed, passing over the package of outfit proofs. “Get familiar with those, and pitch me your location ideas as soon as possible. We’re looking to finish the shoot from the week of July 10th to 20th. It’d be great if we can get all the preparations done before then.”

“Can do,” Jaehwan nodded, scribbling the dates down on a fresh page in his notebook. His mind was already cobbling together and tearing apart prospective plans and images by the time Yura shook his hand and Taekwoon returned at the tail end of the meeting, a sweet caramel latte in one hand and a honey ginger tea in the other. After Yura scolded them for dawdling all over the building, Taekwoon held the tea out to Jaehwan and said, quite bluntly, “Are you busy tonight?”

“Eh?” Jaehwan asked, lifting an eyebrow as he accepted the drink. “I was gonna go through some family portraits, but other than that, not really.”

“Great,” Taekwoon said, reaching down to place his hand on Jaehwan’s waist, far too similar to the way Jaehwan remembered Taekwoon holding Hongbin. “Come over for dinner then; Hongbin’s making sushi tonight.”

+

**March 2014, _Beat Fashion_ , Issue No. 98**

_[Cover Image] The Best of Spring 2014, featuring Leo Cosmopolitan’s Adonis Jung Taekwoon._

+

**April 4th, 2014**

_[Image] Lee Hongbin at the Milky Way Fashion Showcase Premiere._

+

**April 2014, _CELEBRITY POP_ , Issue No. 201**

_LEE HONGBIN CAUGHT CHEATING ON SUPERMODEL BOYFRIEND WITH CHARMING LADY FRIEND? PLUS: TAEKWOON’S FURIOUS TEXTS TO HONGBIN OVER HIS BETRAYAL!_

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**April 30th, 2014. _Modern Men’s_  Twitter Q&A Session with Lee Hongbin**

_(1/7) I’m actually glad you guys brought up the so-called romantic ‘scandal’ between Taekwoon and I. I'm just going to segue into that topic_

_(2/7) and discuss just how ridiculous and dangerous internet rumours can be. Two days ago a group of concerned fans travelled to the_

_(3/7) photoshoot location to confront Taekwoon over the rumours of our split; as a result, he was approached by a group of people after a shoot and mobbed on the street_

_(4/7) It was extremely fortunate that traffic in that location had been re-directed, but Taekwoon, his manager and several fans suffered minor_

_(5/7) scrapes as a result of others’ selfishness, carelessness, and the unresolved rumours. I don’t mean to sound harsh; but I am disappointed_

_(6/7) Hopefully this will be able to clear the air, and foster goodwill between all of us. For those of you that are asking, Taekwoon is well :)_

_(7/7) And to lay the gossip to rest once and for all: the woman I was photographed with is actually my eldest sister._

+

**June 2014, _CELEBRITY POP_ , Issue No. 203**

_A LOVER’S PARADISE: FASHION INDUSTRY’S ROCK ‘N’ ROLL COUPLE LEE HONGBIN AND JUNG TAEKWOON SPOTTED BEING LOVEY-DOVEY ON THEIR PERSONAL VACATION TO JAPAN! INCLUDES EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF CAFÉ DATES AND TAEKWOON’S ROMANTIC GESTURES TO HONGBIN THAT AN INSIDER SAYS HE “JUST ABSOLUTELY ADORES”!_

+

**July 1st, 2015. Unit 929, Soul Tree Apartment Suites.**

“No,” Taekwoon said, shaking his head firmly. “I don’t like it.”

“...okay, what don’t you like about it?” Jaehwan sighed, turning to give Taekwoon an incredibly judgemental stare. “It’s actually a really peaceful location; yoga meditation centres have a lot of great architecture and designs. I’m sure we’ll be able to fit the photoshoot in there somewhere.”

“I veto it,” Taekwoon persisted with a glower.

“This isn’t a United Nations meeting, Taek. There’s no vetoing with photographers.”

“Then I’m telling you I won’t do it,” Taekwoon huffed, crossing his legs on the chair like a sulking two year old. The two of them were sitting Hongbin’s study, borrowing his computer to look up possible locations for the August shoot. Jaehwan had always liked Hongbin’s workspace; it resembled his own in terms of high-end equipment, but whereas Jaehwan’s place was stacked with photography supplies, cameras and lighting equipment, Hongbin’s shelves held thick books with complicated titles and little terrariums filled with tiny plants and decorative rocks. The walls were painted a soothing peach and there were several framed magazine covers on the all. Some of them were of Hongbin, others of Taekwoon, but there was also several music magazines with photographs of Wonshik and Sanghyuk too. A collage of Jaehwan’s award-winning shoots hung on the far end of the wall, and an autographed photo of Hakyeon sat on a frame on the windowsill next to Hongbin’s vacation pictures.

Jaehwan used to blush when he saw all of his own stuff up like that, but he knew it was Hongbin’s way of showing his appreciation for their work. It was actually pretty sweet.

“Do you have any good ideas then?” he asked, pushing the office chair back. Taekwoon squinted at the computer screen like it’d personally offended him, and then shook his head.

“Excellent,” Jaehwan snorted, scratching the back of his neck. If he had been terrified about all the horrible possibilities awaiting for him back at Hongbin’s place, he needn’t have worried, apparently. Taekwoon had let them into Hongbin’s apartment with the spare key before Hongbin had even gotten home from work, which led to an hour of incredibly over-competitive Mario Kart until Hongbin actually got back. Then the two of them were kicked off the game because they were making too much noise as Hongbin cooked. Banished to the study, Jaehwan commandeered the computer for some editing until Taekwoon had gotten bored and began bugging him about the upcoming shoot.

A knock on the door brought them both back to reality; Hongbin was standing in the doorway with a plastic glove on his hand and a rather cute purple apron on.

“Dinner’s ready,” he said, smirking at them. “You two can stop arguing like a married couple over the shoot and come eat now.”

Jaehwan’s heart flipped in his chest. Married couple? In what realm would that phrase even apply to him and Taekwoon?

“Coming,” Taekwoon called, already on his feet at the mere mention of food. But then he turned and extended a hand to Jaehwan, an expectant look on his face. At a complete loss, Jaehwan shoved his hard drive back into his bag and took Taekwoon’s hand, feeling the long fingers curl around his own before the two of them walked back out of the study, through the the living room and towards the open kitchen. Hongbin was busy ladling miso soup into their bowls and telling them to tuck in and enjoy. Dinner came and went briskly, mostly because of Jaehwan’s usual hunger and Taekwoon’s unending appetite.

“Shit, that was amazing,” Jaehwan groaned, finally setting his utensils down with a satisfied sigh. “This is also probably going to be the most well-rounded meal I’ve had since... well, college, probably.”

“Glad you liked my cooking,” Hongbin grinned, passing around the bottles of beer. Jaehwan had lost track of how many they’ve had already, but he’s pretty certain his alcoholic tolerance had learned to up itself after Wonshik’s party. “We’re probably going to double the time we spend at the gym after this though, or we’ll get yelled at for not keeping our shape.”

“I don’t care,” Taekwoon grumbled, stacking up some of the empty plates and bowls. He got up and disappeared into the kitchen, which was followed by the sound of the tap turning and a gush of water. Jaehwan watched him go until Hongbin glanced over his shoulder before heaving a quiet sigh, catching Jaehwan’s attention.

“He had a two and a half hour argument with his managers about that once,” Hongbin murmured, twisting his fingers on the table. “Just stood inside the office in his apartment with the door closed and yelled and yelled. I sat outside the whole time and just listened, because I’d never heard Taekwoon shout like that before.”

“Neither of you got this far in the industry without developing some incredibly thick skin,” Jaehwan said quietly, touching the neck of his bottle. A bit of condensation rolled down the edge and slipped beneath the curling paper label.

“I’ve actually always felt a kind of awe whenever I see your photos, you know,” Hongbin said, flashing Jaehwan a sheepish smile. “How you manage to turn us into so may different beings with your imagination, how you make us look so good, I just can’t fathom.”

“You always look good,” Jaehwan said at once. “Both of you; you two are amazing. Why do you think the world’s in love with you guys?”

“What if it’s not the world’s love we’re looking for?” Hongbin asked slowly, shifting his gaze to Jaehwan’s face. Jaehwan felt his eyes widen as he felt the sudden, abnormal thud of his heart inside his chest. Suddenly, the conversation was moving into unchartered territory and he had no idea what to do. “What if it’s only one person’s love that we want?”

Jaehwan stared.

Dimly, he was aware of the tap shutting off and footsteps leading out from behind the wall that divided the sink and the rest of the dining area. Taekwoon moved to stand at the doorway, leaning against it as he looked over Jaehwan and Hongbin. His expression was neutral, even though his eyes were dark with intensity.

“What do you mean by that?” Jaehwan whispered, suddenly finding it very difficult to breathe.

Hongbin shifted in his seat, biting his lip as he seemed to gather himself, but it was Taekwoon who spoke up.

“Do you love us, Jaehwan?” Taekwoon asked without preamble. His voice was quiet, but it seemed to resonate throughout the whole apartment. “Could you fall in love with us?”

“W-why are you asking me this,” Jaehwan forced the words out, feeling terrifyingly light headed.

“Because it would be really, really, really great if we could get these feelings for you out now,” Hongbin said, his voice tight. “And because I think I might die if I have to keep on pining after you with the camera between us all the time.”

“I don’t get it,” Jaehwan stammered. He stood, and the chair scraped against the ground, shrill. It was an ugly sound. “Why would you two— why would you both want—”

“Want you?” Taekwoon interrupted. “Why not you?”

“You have each other,” Jaehwan tried to say with conviction he knew he failed to convey.

“And like greedy bastards, we want to have you too,” Hongbin said. His eyes were sad, and it was a terrible look on him. Jaehwan hated the way it shredded his heart. “You love us too, Jaehwan, we both know that, so please—”

“You can’t just spring stuff like this one me,” Jaehwan pleaded, uncaring if he looked desperate now. “Not when it’s you two, do you even know how much you both mean to me? I can’t... fuck, I just don’t see myself belonging, and I don’t think I can take it.”

“But we’re telling you that you can belong,” Taekwoon said, stepping forwards. Jaehwan took an instinctive step back and Taekwoon stopped in his tracks. A look of hurt flashed over his features, like he was shocked he’d scared Jaehwan, and oh, everything was going so wrong right now.

“I need— I need some time to think,” Jaehwan managed, his voice meek.

“Jaehwan,” Hongbin began, standing, and the look on his face was so, so vulnerable. Taekwoon was also watching him, jaw tight, but his eyes had a hauntingly aching look. It made Jaehwan lower his head in shame; all he’d done was hurt the people most precious to him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and then he was gone, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste to leave the apartment. He couldn’t remember the trip downstairs or how he’d managed to walk all the way back to his home, but by the time Jaehwan slowed to a halt before the darkened studio, he was out of breath and his mind was scarily blank.

He fumbled with his keys, hands shaky, and when he looked up and saw his reflection in the glass, Jaehwan had to do a double take.

All this time, he hadn’t noticed tears running down his face.

+

**July 2014, _The Memory:_ Twenty Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Friends With One Another [Online Publication]**

_-By Im Soljin, writer_

_No. 5: Now, this might not come as a surprise given how infamous Kim Wonshik is for his extensive contacts amongst celebrities, but one name we didn’t expect to associate with him is renowned fashion photographer Lee Jaehwan. Now, some of you might remember Han Sanghyuk, one of Kim’s best artists, mentioning Lee during a radio interview back in 2013, but it turns out their friendship runs much deeper than just being facebook buddies and occasional work contacts._

_“I’ve actually known Jaehwan since my freshmen year in university,” Kim revealed during a quick catch-up on the red carpet at the 25th Annual Music Focus Awards. “We lived across the hall from one another, and in our upper years we shared a house off campus with, like, eight other dudes. I didn’t really notice him then because we had different majors, but I ran into him at a bar a few years after graduation and we became really good friends after that.”_

_Were there any fun facts he could share about Lee? Kim laughed when I asked him that._

_“Oh man! Oh, he’s gonna kill me for this. Jaehwan, if you see this on the tabloids tomorrow, I’m sorry but I’m also not sorry. Okay. In third year a really sketch company offered him a job shooting adult films, and I shit you not, Jaehwan was so broke at the time he actually considered it for a minute before deciding he’d rather take pictures of people with nice clothes on. He also almost lost his first job offer from Leo Cosmopolitan because he was too busy marathoning an anime to pick up the phone. He owns boxers with memes on them and isn’t ashamed of it. And, he once ate a stick of butter for a dare and got diarrhoea for a week.”_

_If the first tidbit of information didn’t have me laughing already, the rest of it definitely left me in stitches. There is no doubt that their friendship runs deep, and Kim agreed to my observation without a moment’s hesitation._

_“Yeah, he’s a great guy, honestly. He’s funny, compassionate, and he’s always been there for me whenever I was down. Jaehwan’s got a real special gift of making you feel loved, y’know? It shows in his photographs; he adores what he does and wants to show you just how beautiful he finds his subjects. Sometimes, I wish I could show him just how much he means to us as well. Between our closest friends, I don’t think he’s aware of just how much of an impact he has on us. He’s really self-depreciating at times, but I love him. Our friends love him. And someday, I hope that we’ll get that sentiment across, because we won’t be the same without our Jaehwanie.”_

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**July 5th, 2015. Chopped Lenses Studio.**

“Good afternoon,” Wonshik said as he pushed past Jaehwan into the studio apartment, tossing his jacket onto the couch and slipping his boots off onto the welcome mat. Jaehwan spulttered, opening his mouth to speak, but he was rudely interrupted by Sanghyuk, who managed to squeeze his giant body in as well before Jaehwan could shut the door.

“Yo,” the musician greeted, toeing off his sneakers before joining Wonshik in raiding Jaehwan’s flat. Scrambling to collect himself, he slammed the door shut and chased after the two.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Staging an intervention,” Wonshik replied, spinning around dramatically. Sanghyuk nodded fervently in agreement behind the producer as he made himself comfortable on one of Jaehwan’s stools, unwrapping a giant hamburger.

“Yeah, we’re here to intervene. D’you mind if I eat while we do this thing? I didn’t have time for breakfast.”

“I don’t need an intervention,” Jaehwan muttered, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his baggy hoodie. Wonshik gave him a look, and Jaehwan made a face, looking away. He was well aware that his place looked a right mess; magazines, maps and travel guides lay scattered across any flat surface in the living room, and his browser had more tabs than was socially acceptable opened, showing off anything from his online grocery order to camera equipment sales. He was also aware that his face looked as messy as his apartment did, and scrubbed his sleeve over the stubble dotting his jaw, sighing.

“I don’t need an intervention,” Jaehwan said again, trying to force some authority into his voice. It did not work.

“It has been five days since anybody’s heard a peep from you,” Wonshik said, leaning against the counter. “Now, I understand that you need space, which is why I waited five days, but I draw the line at day five when it comes to anti-communication.”

“I’m busy,” Jaehwan grumbled, gesturing at the chaos everywhere. “I’m still trying to find a proper shoot location for work.”

“Breaks are also equally important for the creative process,” Wonshik pointed out. “But that is not what we’re here for.”

“Don’t say it,” Jaehwan blurted out, clenching his fists. “I already know what you want to say. There is literally no privacy amongst our group of friends, I’ll have you know.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure you have no idea when I’m about to say next,” Wonshik said, lifting an eyebrow.

“Try me.”

“Alright, then I’m gonna tell you that the one who convinced Hongbin and Taekwoon to finally confess to you was me. And since he was present during that conversation, Sanghyuk has to claim responsibility as well.”

Jaehwan stared.

“Toldya,” Sanghyuk said between bites, and Jaehwan shot him a withering look.

“ _You_  told them? To confess to me? Is this some kind of joke?”

“Why do you think it’s a joke?” Wonshik asked, alarmed. “We’d never pull a joke like that on you, what the actual fuck.”

“Then— why?”

“They’ve been wanting to confess to you for a long, long time, Jaehwan. All we did was tell them that if that was something they wanted, they should take a chance and not drag things out.”

Jaehwan turned, stumbled over to the counter, and collapsed onto the stool next to Sanghyuk.

“Fry?” Sanghyuk offered, and Jaehwan accepted wordlessly.

“We came today to tell you the truth,” Wonshik said softly, watching Jaehwan closely. “We didn’t want you to think that we were hiding things, keeping secrets or going behind your back. But I saw you guys at the party. You should’ve seen the way Hongbin and Taekwoon looked at you.”

“And how was that?” Jaehwan murmured, resigned to the conversation.

“The same way you look at them,” Wonshik answered seriously, leaning over the counter. “The same way you look at them when you photograph them, when you have lunch with them, message them, talk about them in front of other people. It’s love.”

Jaehwan chewed slowly, hands folded in front of him. The silence stretched on in the kitchen, broken only by the muffled sounds of traffic outside and the crinkle of Sanghyuk’s burger wrapper until Wonshik reached out and placed a comforting hand on Jaehwan’s wrist.

“Jaehwanie,” he said softly. “What happened that night?”

“I... wanted some time to think,” Jaehwan whispered. “I didn’t expect them to confess to me... I’m not mad at Hongbin or Taekwoon, nor am I avoiding them, per se, but I just don’t think I can hold a conversation with them yet. Without being stupidly emotional, at the very least.”

“Fair enough,” Wonshik nodded. “Do you mind if I rely that to them? Hongbin’s an absolute wreck right now. He thinks he’s ruined everything between you guys. Taekwoon hasn’t said much, but, you know...”

“Did they cry?” Jaehwan choked out, and Wonshik’s silence and his slight deer-in-the-headlights expression confirmed it, even if no answer was given. “Fuck,” he groaned, dropping his head into his hands. He was the absolute worst.

“They’re okay, Jaehwan. To be honest, both of them are more worried about you, especially when you called in sick to one of your meetings.”

“Ah,” Jaehwan sighed, peeking up through his fingers. “I haven’t used that excuse since high school.”

“To be young again,” Wonshik grinned, reaching over to ruffle Jaehwan’s hair. “ ‘kay, I have a call to make first, but let’s cook something for lunch together after this.”

“Good idea,” Sanghyuk said around a mouthful of burger, and Wonshik muttered something about terrifying eaters eating into his budget before walking into the hallway. Jaehwan shook his head, letting a small smile curl up on his face. He was actually a little glad he’d let them in now.

“You know,” Sanghyuk said, nonchalant, “It’s okay to be stupidly emotional sometimes.”

Jaehwan turned to him, eyebrows raised, and Sanghyuk grinned back, a knowing look in his eyes.

“If we can’t have something like that from time to time, how can we truly call ourselves humans of the artistic persuasion?”

Jaehwan paused before he leaned forwards and stole another french fry, munching thoughtfully on the end as he surveyed his friend.

“You have a point,” he agreed, and took another bite.

+

**August 2014, Tempo’s Music Magazine, Issue No. 46**

_[Cover Image] A Year of Phenomenal Music Making, featuring Rated R Record’s Han Sanghyuk and Kim Wonshik._

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**July 7th, 2015. Chopped Lenses Studio.**

After Sanghyuk and Wonshik’s unannounced visit a few days ago, Jaehwan found himself lying on the floor amidst a sea of books, papers, equipment one evening as he bemoaned the end of his creative wit when his phone suddenly buzzed to life.

Frowning, he rolled over and reached up onto the coffee table, slapping about for the device and nearly knocking over an empty mug. He glanced at the screen, and was surprised to see Hakyeon’s name on the screen.

“Hakyeon?” he asked, putting his phone up to his ear after swiping to answer.

“Do you know any other Hakyeons?” came the miffed reply, and Jaehwan snorted.

“No, I don’t think I can handle another one of you to be honest.”

“Very funny,” Hakeyon grumbled. “Glad to hear your snark though, that means you’re probably not withering on the floor of your apartment like a dead plant over your romantic life.”

“Tactful,” Jaehwan sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I am on the floor though; but that’s only because I’m in pre-production hell for the shoot.”

“Heard about that too,” Hakyeon said, and there was a loud rustling noise in the background. “Wonshik says your flat looks like a paper factory that turned on a giant fan without thinking of the long term consequences.”

“No privacy,” Jaehwan muttered under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. Why is it so noisy on your end? Are you outside?”

“As a matter of fact, I am,” Hakyeon said, suddenly very business-like. “Which brings me to the actual reason why I called: if you’d be so kind to check your email, you’ll see that you have a new message. From me. Obviously.”

“Why are you messaging me?” Jaehwan asked warily as he shuffled across the floor and up to his computer, waking it from a deep sleep. He sifted through his tabs until he located his email account, and sure enough there was a new message from Hakyeon. Jaehwan clicked on it, and then did a double-take.

“Hakyeon, do I even want to know why you’ve sent me a plane ticket?”

“Because I’m a great friend that wants to see you,” Hakyeon replied, like friends buying friends plane tickets out of the blue was a completely normal thing. “Now, if you’ll notice, the boarding time is tonight, at nine o’clock in the evening. Forgive me, that was the closest time I could get on such short notice. So, because of that, you might want to start packing soon.”

“ _Nine o’clock_ — what the fuck, Hakyeon, it’s already six-thirty!” Jaehwan spluttered. “I can’t just suddenly fuck off somewhere with you, I have work to do and things planned—”

“Will you relax for a moment,” Hakyeon interrupted, his voice placating. “It’s not like you’re leaving the country; in fact, you can actually bus to where I am right now. But it’ll take a lot longer, and there are also no buses running at this hour. So, plane ticket. I don’t intend on keeping you here for longer than a day, so you can pack the essentials and expect to fly back to the city before three o’clock tomorrow afternoon. I won’t be able to host you then anyway because I’ve got to film at that time.”

“Why are you doing this?” Jaehwan sighed, rubbing his temple. “I just don’t get it.”

Hakyeon was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “Sometimes, when I realize that the thoughts in my head have gotten unbearably loud, finding myself a new location to explore helps me unwind. And it’s rather nice where I am, if you must know. Lots of hills and small-town aesthetics. A bit chilly for summer though; you might want to bring a coat.”

“You rich types are so extra sometimes,” Jaehwan joked. “You better have a damn good explanation for this.”

“You’ll thank me for this later,” Hakyeon shot back. “I’ll see you in a few hours then. Don’t you dare miss your flight!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jaehwan replied with a roll of his eyes, and set his phone back down as Hakyeon hung up. For a moment, he sat in front of his computer and tried to make his tired brain process the new information. He glanced back at the mess on the ground and shook his head, feeling like an elderly man.

“Now where the hell did I leave my backpack?” he groaned, and stepped over the couch to look for his travel essentials.

+

**October 2014, _Close Calls:_  Casting News [Online Publication]**

_-By Choi Minseok, writer_

_Cha Hakyeon cast in acclaimed director Kim Ryeowook’s remake of 90′s hit show “After Dark”:_

_We all knew from the start that there nobody but Cha Hakyeon could fulfil the role of tormented city cop ‘N’ once Expo Films revealed their plans to bring the good old fashioned crime thriller genre back. It’s certainly not Cha’s first rodeo when it comes to action-packed, brilliantly convoluting films with as much grit to it as there is plot. Paired with Kim’s spectacular filmmaking vision, "After Dark” is definitely something fans young and old can look forwards to seeing on the big screen in 2016._

+

**July 7th, 2015. The Township.**

Hakyeon was one of those actors that couldn’t keep a low profile even if he tried, and he certainly wasn’t making any efforts to hide his identity when Jaehwan walked out into the arrivals zone, his backpack and camera bag slung over his shoulders. His industry-trained eye instantly locked onto the custom-fitted overcoat, designer sunglasses and a cozy maroon beanie emblazoned with some indie brand sitting on fluffy, dyed hair. When Hakyeon raised a hand to wave at him, Jaehwan could see the steel rings flashing on his fingers.

“I’m surprised you’re here all by yourself,” Jaehwan said, opening his arms to give Hakyeon a brief hug. “Where are your twelve bodyguards marching in two straight lines?”

“It’s a small town,” Hakyeon said dismissively. “You could drive around the whole place in an hour, and everybody already knows we’re filming here. They’re busy folks who really don’t give a damn. How many fucking terminals do you even see at this airport? There’s two. One for departures, and the other for arrivals. Can’t get lost even if you tried.”

Jaehwan laughed as they stepped outside, and a gust of wind instantly made him yank his jacket around him. Hakyeon laughed, taking his sunglasses off as they walked across the parking lot to his car.

“I said it’d be cold.”

“It’s the middle of July,” Jaehwan complained as he ducked into the passenger seat and lowered his bags onto the ground.

“Temperatures drop when there’s no sun up,” Hakyeon said, starting the car and then bracing his arm against the back of Jaehwan’s seat as he reversed. Jaewhan pretended to swoon, and Hakyeon punched his shoulder in response. “We’re really close to a huge lake too, so I guess that’s gotta count for something.”

“Well, I’m sure the lake looks fabulous, but this can’t be the reason why you dragged me out into the middle of your location shoot at night,” Jaehwan said, reclining in the leather seat. “So what is it?”

“I already told you. You need a break. This mini getaway is supposed to help clear your head.”

“I’m supposed to clear my head in a few hours?”

“I didn’t say you’re gonna walk outta here with all the damn answers to the universe,” Hakyeon said crossly, actually taking his foot off the gas to kick Jaehwan in the shin. The car wobbled precariously. “But from what I hear, I really do think you need a breather.”

“Just how much did Wonshik blab to you?” Jaehwan grumbled, tugging at his sleeves.

“Actually, it was Taekwoon who told me about all this,” Hakyeon said calmly, and Jaehwan turned in surprise.

“Taekwoon told you?”

“Mhm,” Hakyeon said, making a left turn down into an even smaller road. Jaehwan could see towering trees in the distance. “He’s not ‘lifelong friend’ in my contacts for nothing.”

“Pretty sure he’s got you down as ‘wine mom’ in his.”

“Besides the fucking point,” Hakyeon said, kissing his teeth. “I’m more of a shots kinda person anyway.”

“Make sure you let him know that then,” Jaehwan chuckled as Hakyeon made one final turn and pulled up into an unpaved parking lot overlooking a body of water. It might’ve been the lake Hakyeon had mentioned before, but it was already so dark that the inky depths seemed so merge seamlessly with the colour of the night sky. Slinging his camera over his neck as he got out of the car, Jaehwan did a full-body stretch and let out a gusty exhale, cracking his spine. He could make out the hills and rolling landscapes they’d passed by on the drive here and there was a little trail leading away from the parking lot towards what looked like a valley, where a strangely beautiful golden glow emitted from the sloping earth.

“Where are we?”

“The outskirts of the town,” Hakyeon said, slamming his car door shut. “I found this trail while exploring the place by myself a few weeks ago and I’ve been coming here for some walks and a bit of quiet time whenever I need to unwind.”

“Shooting’s getting difficult, huh?” Jaehwan asked, letting Hakyeon link their arms together as they began to walk.

“As far as movie shoots go this is in no way the worst one I’ve worked in,” Hakyeon snorted. “But sometimes I get too immersed in my characters, and I need that moment to take a step back so I don’t accidentally delude myself into thinking I’m an emotionally stunted cop who lost his whole squad five years ago to a bastard mobster that I must hunt down even if I’m down to my last breath.”

“I can relate to that,” Jahwan hummed. Gravel and small stones crunched under his shoes as they climbed up a small incline. “Minus the emotionally stunted cop part.”

“Well, I’d say your romantic troubles are about as dramatic as my movies.”

“Well I’m fucked then, aren’t I? You almost always die or get injured in your action movies.”

“You are such an asshole,” Hakyeon huffed, yanking Jaehwan up onto a wooden observation deck. The boards creaked with each step and the winds were stronger here, but he didn’t feel so cold anymore. Jaehwan flipped the cover off his lenses as Hakyeon pulled his beanie off his head and leaned over the railing, looking out towards the water. “So what’s eating you, Jaehwan? What sort of problems are you thinking about?”

“Good question,” Jaehwan muttered as he carefully adjusted his settings. Raising the camera, he pointed it at Hakyeon and gave it a moment to focus. “You already know my— my pseudo fall-out with Hongbin and Taekwoon, and I swear I didn’t mean for it to... turn out that way? It’s just, I have a hard time understanding what they see in me, I guess? Or rather, why’d they want to be in a relationship with me.” The last part made his face heat considerably, and he was immediately thankful for the cover of darkness and his camera for hiding his face.

Hakyeon turned to him, expression a mixture of incredulity and exasperation that eventually morphed into something a little sad. The shutter released with a quick click, but Hakyeon ignored it.

“Jaehwanie, please have a little more faith in yourself,” Hakyeon said, his voice exceedingly gentle. “You’re beautiful. And more importantly, Taekwoon and Hongbin believe that to the extend where they’ve both fallen in love with you.”

“Maybe I’m still learning that,” Jaehwan said, lowering the camera. His gaze fell somewhere to Hakyeon’s knees and he felt a little vulnerable then, like he was showing a kind of long-hidden secret.

“It’s probably difficult to feel good-looking when you’re surrounded by so many people that physically embody the socially conventional definition of beauty,” Hakyeon mused, hitting the nail right on the head. “We rip into our own images without thinking sometimes, and sometimes it cuts so deep we start to think that we, as people, aren’t beautiful enough either. And not just beautiful in terms of appearance. Eventually, we start thinking we’re just not good enough overall.”

“I think it’s something we all have to overcome,” Jaehwan said softly, and raised his camera again. Hakyeon stilled and let him take another photo. His posture was relaxed and open, nothing like the prim shoulders-back-chin-up kind of stance he’s usually seen in in photos. When Jaehwan lowered his camera again, Hakyeon pushed himself back up with a comfortable sigh and walked towards the trail again.

“Binnie and Taekwoon can see the good side of you, Jaehwan.”

“I’m flattered,” Jaehwan laughed. The trail was dipping now, a sharp decline that brought them straight down to the valley and towards the glow of lights in the distance.

“Why don’t you give them a chance to explain themselves properly then?” Hakyeon suggested, tilting his head as they walked. “Let Taekwoon and Hongbin tell you what it is exactly they love so much about you so you don’t have to go around guessing. Besides, they’re really worried that you’re not interested in them person-wise, believe it or not.”

“I should,” Jaehwan admitted, ducking his head. “I... I’m just afraid. I’ve loved them for so long, I just don’t think I can bear it if I can’t keep that kind of friendship with them in the future. I didn’t want to get hurt, and in the process I was the one who hurt them instead.”

Fingers caught his chin and tilted his face back up. Hakyeon’s expression was stern when he gave Jaehwan’s head a little shake.

“Don’t lose sight of your convictions, Jaehwan. Life’s gonna hurt you but you’re just gonna have to pull yourself up and kick it right back in the ass.”

“Eloquent,” Jaehwan laughed, swatting at Hakyeon’s hands. “Okay, okay. When I go back, I’ll face them properly. Promise.”

“Good,” Hakyeon smiled, and as they stepped around into the clearing everything was suddenly bathed with light. Jaehwan flinched at the unexpected brightness, but the initial surprise gave way to a jaw-dropping awe as he halted in his tracks, staring at the sight before him.

It was one of those traditional little carnivals tucked away into the cradle of the earth. He could immediately see all of the familiar aspects: a slowly rotating ferris wheel, a turning merry-go-round, spinning teacups, a wacky-looking house of mirrors and rickety wooden game stands with squashy plush animals hanging from the rafters, waiting to be won. Food carts sat in one straight line in the far back, blazing signs advertising jumbo hot dogs, cotton candy, gravy poutine, fries, doughnuts and ice cream cones. The dozens upon dozens of old-fashioned lightbulbs mounted on the towering signs were responsible for casting the warm glow over the entire set, and for a moment Jaehwan could only stand and stare at the little bubble of life glimmering away in the calm, still night.

“What is this?” he breathed, taking a step forwards.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Hakyeon grinned. “I stumbled upon it when I found the trail a little while ago. It’s a tourist attraction, even if nobody comes by very often. There’s not a lot of people running it since it’s so small, but they’re always happy to see visitors come by.”

“It’s— it’s—” Jaehwan stuttered, and then he spun around, eyes alight with excitement and happiness. “Hakyeon, you genius!”

“No lie there,” Hakyeon agreed without hesitation, laughing. “I didn’t know you’d be this excited over a carnival though, or I would’ve dragged your sorry ass here sooner.”

“I love this place,” Jaehwan grinned, and he turned around to stare up at the lights. “But this is it. I’ve found it.”

“ ‘Found it’?” Hakyeon repeated, raising his eyebrows. Jaehwan’s hands clutched at his camera, and for the first time in a week, he could feel the motivation flowing through his veins, see the metaphorical clouds part to reveal a brilliant creative burst.

"The location I want to shoot at.”

+

**July 8th, 2015. Leo Cosmopolitan.**

When Taekwoon walked into the meeting room that afternoon, Jaehwan was prepared for his heart to beat until he thought it’d explode from his chest and for the awkwardness to crush him mercilessly. But then Taekwoon walked in, and he looked so soft with his messy hair and his oversized sweater ensemble that it looked absolutely nothing like his usual cutting style. He also looked so anxious to see Jaehwan that Jaehwan was certain his heart had melted instead.

“You’re back,” Taekwoon said, coming to a halt before him. His voice was small. It didn’t suit him at all.

“I am,” Jaehwan said, nodding. He clasped his hands in front of him and made himself look straight at Taekwoon. He wasn’t going to hide himself or his feelings now.

Taekwoon lowered his eyes and fiddled with his phone. “Are you— are you feeling better?” he asked quietly. Jaehwan reached over and touched Taekwoon’s wrist, almost making the model jump.

“I’m doing much better,” he said, offering a little smile. “I’m sorry for running off like that in the middle of a conversation.”

Taekwoon immediately shook his head. “No, Jaehwan, don’t be sorry, Hongbin and I—”

“I  _am_  sorry,” Jaehwan interrupted, giving Taekwoon’s wrist a light squeeze. “Because of what I did, it left everything hanging at a bad spot. But I’d like to talk with you guys again, sometime after the shoot, to sort things out. A proper conversation this time, one that doesn’t end with me making you two cry.”

“How did you know— never mind, we have no privacy amongst our friends,” Taekwoon grumbled under his breath, and Jaehwan laughed loudly, startling one of the interns.

“We’ll be busy with the August shoot for the next week, but after that, I promise I’m all yours,” Jaehwan said, smiling. “Yours and Hongbin’s.”

Taekwoon blinked at him, but then he nodded in agreement.

“After the shoot, then?”

“Yup. After the shoot.”

+

**July 13th, 2015. The Carnival In The Valley.**

Dark, windswept hair, brushing low over a still gaze that drank in the sights of the carnival, bathed in its brilliant lights. Slender fingers, resting against red lips, tapping thoughtfully as the merry-go-round rotated in lazy circles, delivering a different pony to slide into the background for each shot. A stiff burgundy turtleneck stood out against pale skin, and the checkered field jacket slung over broad shoulders.

Standing a little ways off to the side, chilled fingers held steady as the experienced eye watched the scene. Toes wiggled in a pair of old converses, uneven strings dangling from the navy blue hoodie fluttered when a gentle gust of wind sent them swaying. In the back, racks of shirts, pants, coats and accessories swayed in the breeze as the stylists shivered, make-up artists tapped away on their phones, and the lighting crew crouched in impossible positions, reflectors covering their bodies as they crowded around the subject.

His blinked, lashes so close to the camera they caught against the glass of the viewfinder. Then, Taekwoon tilted his head ever so slightly, and his gaze caught Jaehwan’s through his camera. The heaviness of Taekwoon’s eyes made his heart stutter pathetically and his fingertips tremble for only a second before pressing down on the shutter release. The camera clicked, capturing the image.

 _I think I might die if I have to keep on pining after you with the camera between us all the time_ , Hongbin had said.

Jaehwan sank his teeth into his lower lip. Suddenly, as he straightened up to view the image, he felt like crying again.

“I’ve wasted so much time,” he breathed to himself before the stylists were rushing forwards, bringing over a new coat and a new scarf and make up artists were dusting another layer of make up onto Taekwoon’s face and Jaehwan could only watch from afar, repeating inside his head  _after the shoot, after the shoot_.

+

 **July 21st, 2015. Unit 929, Soul Tree Apartment Suites**.

Because the universe seemed to like conspiring against him, Jaehwan did not get to meet with Taekwoon nor Hongbin immediately after the August photoshoot. He also did not sleep for roughly three days because the deadline had been tight and he’d spent most of his days and nights either cooped up in the computer labs at Leo Cosmopolitan or his own studio, sitting cross-legged in front of the computer screen, downing his ninth cup of coffee as he felt his deadline beard grown in. Editors swarmed around him and his phone buzzed every hour or two with requests and demands while his fax machine spat out page after page, poor thing wheezing like it was running a marathon.

It wasn’t until nearly a week later that Yura finally flipped through the final copies and announced, while shoving the strands of light brown hair escaping from her bun back into shape, that their work was done. A collective round of applause smattered around the room, and Jaehwan found himself shaking hands and bowing to whoever stood before him before he managed to stumble out of the room, his copy of the proofs shoved into his bag and his mind set on a single location.

He nearly tripped boarding the bus as he tried to text and tap his travel card at once, fingers sliding over the screen of his mobile.

_Are you guys free right now?_

Hongbin’s reply came as he squeezed into the empty seat between a sleeping high school student and a woman with a large portfolio taking up one-third of Jaehwan’s seat.

 _Yup. Taekwoon and I are working out at the gym in my building_.

_May I come over?_

_Sure. Definitely. We’ll buzz you up. Editing all done?_

_We’re officially finished, yeah. You won’t believe the hell I went through._

_I don’t doubt it, lol. See you soon._

_Yeah. See you._

He got off the stop at his studio, ran up, shaved, and showered as fast as he dared before stumbling back out onto the street. His footsteps fell progressively faster in front of him until Jaehwan broke out into a little run, feeling the wind catch in his hair and the giddy smile spread over his face.

Was it the taste of freedom after a long week of work? Or was it excitement that he could finally see his friends properly now, after nearly a month of sparse communication?

Jaehwan found that it didn’t matter when he was let into the building, fidgeting his whole way up to the penthouse suites, but he didn’t give himself the time for doubts when he walked up to the door. His knuckles connected with the wood, each hit crisp and sharp, and it immediately opened for him, as though its occupants had been waiting for him this whole time.

Jaehwan swallowed, struck by a sudden thought. Just how much wrong he done by making Taekwoon and Hongbin wait for so long?

“Jaehwan,” Hongbin said, and he sounded surprisingly breathless. “Come in.”

“Thanks,” Jaehwan answered, smiling as he walked in and slipped off his shoes. He caught a whiff of Hongbin’s shampoo as the model took his bag and ushered him towards the living room, where Taekwoon was standing, hands in the pockets of old washed jeans. Jaehwan found that he was rather fond of his friends’ dressed-down moments; where basketball shorts and college pull-overs and plain, long-sleeved shirts replaced creaseless brand name shirts and moulded pants.

“You look more alive than I thought you’d be, considering the deadlines,” Hongbin grinned, and Jaehwan snorted.

“Trust me, it’s only the adrenaline blast keeping me awake right now. If I sit still for longer than ten minutes I guarantee you I’ll nod off and then sleep for twelve hours without waking up in between.”

“Keep your ass off the couch then,” Hongbin said immediately, making Jaehwan laugh.

“Ah, I missed your sass, Binnie,” he said, and then he lowered his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a wry smile when he added, “I missed you a lot, in general.”

Hongbin swallowed and nodded, but his responding smile was warm. “I missed you too. Taekwoon got to see you during the shoot, at least, but between work and everything else...”

“Well, the good news is, I’ve had plenty of time to think,” Jaehwan said. “The bad news is, I’ve had way too  _much_  time to think. So here I am, and I hope I can properly relay my feelings without dragging this out any longer.”

“Feelings?” Hongbin whispered, and Taekwoon’s throat worked as he blinked a few times at Jaehwan. His hands were clasped in front of him, tight, and Jaehwan’s own fingertips were beginning to feel a little nerveless as well.

“I want to apologize first,” Jaehwan said. Hongbin looked as though he was ready to interrupt, and Jaehwan immediately held up his hand, shaking his head. “No, Hongbin, please. I really am sorry for dragging this out. My own insecurities that you’ve all tried to help me overcome dug their claws in. And that really messed things up for a while.”

“It happens,” Taekwoon murmured. His arms were crossed loosely in front of his chest now, a nervous gesture Jaehwan had only seen Taekwoon do in a handful of moments.

“For the longest time, I thought it was only Taekwoon you loved,” Hongbin admitted, and Jaehwan felt his eyes widen and his jaw dropping. Even Taekwoon looked a little taken aback. Hongbin’s cheeks coloured a little and he gave Jaehwan a sheepish smile.

“Don’t you know what people say about your photographs? How they praise your pictures of Taekwoon? People call him your muse, the one who brings out the best in your work.”

“I don’t have muses,” Jaehwan spluttered. “I have momentary bursts of creative insanity and really stressful tequila shots in between.”

“Hongbin,” Taekwoon said, and he looked unhappy, mouth turning down as he reached over to brush his knuckles over Hongbin’s cheek. “Jaehwan makes all his subjects beautiful, but unlike many of those models, he’s in love with you.”

“And that changes everything,” Jaehwan teased, stepping forwards to take Hongbin’s hands in his. They were small against his, and Jaehwan couldn’t help but silently marvel the feeling of cradling Hongbin’s hands in his own palms. “I can’t stay objective while shooting my pictures anymore. I’m a biased artist now; you’ve absolutely ruined me. I’m going to being my artistic downwards spiral now.”

“Be quiet,” Hongbin laughed, his dimples showing as he did. “Ah, we’re all just so fucking stupid sometimes, aren’t we?”

“You said it, not me,” Jaehwan said at once, and Taekwoon knocked his fist against the side of Hongbin’s head with a little smirk. Hongbin made an indignant noise in his throat, giving them his death glare.

“I hate you both.”

“Aw, how could you say that?” Jaehwan whined. “I love you guys.”

“Don’t try and worm your way out of this,” Hongbin warned, but Jaehwan jsut grinned shyly, moving his other hand to reach out and take Taekwoon’s. He tugged them both towards him, smiling down at their tangled hands.

“I’m serious though. I do love you two. And if you’ll still have me...”

“Moron,” Taekwoon said at once, curling his palm against the back of Jaehwan’s neck. “Of  _course_  we want you.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Jaehwan laughed. He was feeling a little light headed again, but this time his heartbeat was soaring with unbridled happiness and near disbelief. It felt as though the air had cleared, and he was breathing properly for the first time after a long while. “Imagine how awkward the rest of this conversation would’ve turned out, I’ll probably have to pack my bags and move into the forest and join my mosquito people—”

The rest was cut off when Hongbin took a step forwards and wrapped him up in a tight hug, pulling Jaehwan close. “Jaehwanie,” Hongbin laughed. “You’re talking too much.”

“Am I?” Jaehwan asked, slumping against Hongbin. He plopped his chin weakly against Hongbin’s shoulder and gave Taekwoon’s hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry, I’m just so glad— we’re finally together.”

Hongbin’s chuckle reverberated against him as Taekwoon nodded, leaning down to gently press his lips against Jaehwan’s forehead.

“We are,” the eldest agreed. “And isn’t that a wonderful thing.”

+

**August 1st, 2015. Leo Cosmopolitan: _Farewell Good Summer_ , Issue No. 1110.**

_[Cover Image] Jung Taekwoon bids goodbye to the fair days of summer and welcomes autumn’s embrace with Leo Cosmopolitan’s newest fall collection._

+

**December 24th, 2015. Unit 929, Soul Tree Apartment Suites.**

“This is the worst thing you’ve ever come up with,” Taekwoon growled, standing on a chair as Jaehwan stood below his boyfriend, grinning sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. The glossy image of Hongbin posing in a café wobbled back and forth as Taekwoon fanned at the blaring smoke alarm with one of the magazines he’d grabbed from the coffee table in a hurry, an irritated expression on his face.

“To be fair, I wasn’t prepared for how complicated the recipe was,” Jaehwan said, batting his eyelashes innocently. Taekwoon glared down at him.

“You were making  _garlic bread_ , Jaehwan.”

“With cheese!” Jaehwan cried hotly, pretending to stamp his foot. “There’s a really big difference!”

“True fact,” Wonshik said, nursing a bottle of beer as he watched them with an amused expression. “At restaurants cheese is at least two bucks extra.”

Taekwoon stopped fanning the smoke alarm momentarily to pinch the bridge of his nose. Jaehwan laughed, reaching up to tug at Taekwoon’s hand.

“Oh, c’mon down, Taek, you know that stupid thing’s not going to shut off for another ten minutes.”

“I told you we should’ve just left the cooking to Hongbin,” Hakyeon complained from the couch, bundled up to his nose in a thick red scarf. A gust of icy December wind blew in from the open patio door and the windows in the living room, making them all shiver. “This place is gonna burn this apartment down before all of you can even move in.”

“Don’t you dare jinx it,” Taekwoon warned, stepping off the chair. He gave Jaehwan a little bonk on the head and ignored the deathly screech Jaehwan let out in response. “ _I_  just moved in. Jaehwan still has his flat. I do not want to pack everything I own back into those blasted boxes ever again.”

“Well, even if Jaehwan does burn the place down y’all can just stay in his studio,” Wonshik suggested, and that was met with Hakyeon made a gagging sound. Even Taekwoon wrinkled his nose in distaste.

“Hey!” Jaehwan yelled, planting his hands on his hips. “What’s wrong with my place?”

“You studio types are so...  _untidy_ ,” Hakyeon sniffed, turning up his nose as he reached for his tumbler.

“You call it untidy, I call it a creative mess,” Wonshik dismissed as he tossed his bangs back. Hakyeon made another face.

“At least I don’t have alarms that go on for so long,” Jaehwan challenged.

“Yeah, is anybody going to turn that off?” Hongbin yelled as he appeared in doorway of the office, phone in one hand and presumably calling the landlord to ask about the device. “Because the sound’s starting to warp in my ears and I don’t think that’s normal.”

“I know how,” Sanghyuk said, and the next thing the knew the youngest was on the chair, reaching up. He yanked the alarm off the ceiling, flipped open the back, and dug out the two batteries out. The high-pitched wailing cut off mid shriek, and then they were left with a ringing silence.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” Wonshik demanded.

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal,” Taekwoon said, but he didn’t look all that concerned.

“Living in a dorm where the ancient smoke alarm goes off over shower steam teaches you things,” Sanghyuk deadpanned. He hopped off the chair and tossed the alarm onto the couch. “Problem solved! Now let’s eat!”

“But the garlic bread’s not done yet!” Jaehwan whined, and Taekwoon let out a long-suffering sigh as he slipped an arm around Jaehwan’s waist and steered him pointedly away from the kitchen.

“Just sit down and eat, Jaehwan.”

“Hongbin!” Sanghyuk yelled, shoving Wonshik out of the way as he bounded towards the dinner table. “Your boyfriends are being cute without you right now!”

“Not possible,” Hongbin said, returning to the dining room with a smirk on his face. “Jaehwan isn’t cute.”

“Slander!” Jaehwan yelled, shaking his fist. “I’ll poke you in your dimples!”

“I’d like to see you try,” Hongbin snarked back, but he bent down to give Jaehwan a little kiss all the same before taking a seat on his right. Taekwoon slid soundlessly into the one on his left, immediately reaching for the delicious Christmas dinner spread before them: a roast, platters of potato wedges, baked pies and mixed rice, hot noodles and no garlic bread. 

“Hey, someone get the wine from the fridge, we should do a toast in a minute,” Hakyeon called, handing out the wine glasses.

“Too late, Taekwoon’s already started eating,” Wonshik pointed out.

“Do you ever stop?” Hakyeon cried in exasperation, and Taekwoon gave him a bland stare as he deliberately shovelled another bite into his mouth.

“Whatever, one of the presents I brought for you guys are shot glasses, so we can crack those open after dinner and drink then,” Wonshik pointed out, and Jaehwan had to stifle a laugh as he held out a portion of baked lasagna on his fork for Hongbin to eat.

The chill from the open windows had gone now, and the heater had finally kicked back in, warming up the apartment for them again. The tree twinkled merrily in the backdrop with presents piled under it, all of varying states of proper (or terrible) wrapping. He watched his friends yell and laugh and joke with each other over the annual gathering, and it felt good to see them all again after a hectic, schedule-packed year.

Hongbin was telling Taekwoon something about remodelling one of the guest rooms for him to use while his hand came to rest on Jaehwan’s thigh, warm and gentle, and Taekwoon was saying something about saving the space for Jaehwan instead as his hand came up to play with the strands of hair at the base of Jaehwan’s neck. Meanwhile, Jaehwan silently bemoaned the fact that he’ll have to wait until after new year’s to surprise his boyfriends: Sanghyuk had secretly agreed to move in to Jaehwan’s flat for a reduced rent, so once he gave his answer to Hongbin and Taekwoon’s not-so-subtle suggestion about him moving in as well, the space above Chopped Lenses will fall into relatively trustworthy hands and won’t go to waste.

Jaehwan grinned to himself and happily took a bite of roast.

He couldn’t wait.

+

**January 2016, VIXX Fashion, Issue No. 600.**

_“For me, what I think it means to bring life into my art is that I have to believe that the subject before me is alive. I can see that they’re moving and breathing, yes, but what is their story? Why are they here? What are they trying to tell me when they pose and look into my lenses? And then, I have to ask myself, can I capture that? How? What can I do to bring out the life in these people, so that when others see them in the 2D form, they can inexplicably feel the three-dimensional characters that I see before me? I think that once you understand that, you realize there’s a lot more to this world than meets the eye. And once you know that— anything is possible.”_

_-Lee Jaehwan, Fashion Photographer._

+

_End_

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote 10k of this in one sitting and then cried my way through the next half of it for another week lmao. It was still a lot of fun though??? I don't think I've got it in me to do this all over again :'D
> 
> thanks for reading!


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